Wednesday, December 17, 1997

What if the Fool Went Public?
By WadaPhooliam (

It's probably premature, but has anyone thought of the possibilities of a Foolish Financial Empire? Of course, the Foolish Financial Empire would be divided into Foolish Financial Fiefdoms. Here's the scenario:

In a wildly successfully IPO (ticker symbol: FOOL, of course), the Fool raises millions in lovely cash, mostly from the rest of us Fools. The question is, what kind of other businesses could benefit from the Foolish touch?

Here are some ideas.

Airline -- Corporate name JestAir. Corporate motto "We keep you laughing from takeoff to touchdown so you won't notice that our food really sucks." Flight crews would wear motley instead of uniforms. Get it? Motley crews on each flight?

Cruise Line -- Corporate name Motley Cruises. First ship would be built by the world-renowned Lee Kee Shipyards. Ship would be christened -- what else? -- TMF Katherine Ann Porter. (For those who don't catch the reference, she wrote Ship of Fools.)

Hotels -- A coast-to-coast chain of Fools Rush Inns. Each guest would receive a Fool's (night) cap.

Fitness -- A chain of salons combining exercise equipment with psychiatric clinics, called Pump and Dump? Here the P/E ratio would refer to the number of hours you spend in psychotherapy versus the number of hours you spend exercising. Of course, if you spend all your time dumping without ever pumping, your P/E ratio would be infinite.

Manufacturing -- What about a line of motorized zippers (zipper drives) manufactured by a company called FlyOmega?

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