The Complete Hypester Overview
IF YOU WOULD LIKE a burnished red sports car, an addition on your house (or just a new one, instead), two tickets on Leisure Cruise's September world tour, and higher education for the succeeding five generations of your family, AND if you'd like the above within 12-18 months, read on!
Of course, we'll have to make a few demands first, before we can guarantee you your worldly riches. We'll have to ask you to check your self-respect at the door, if you wouldn't mind. And your brains, too, please. Oh, andyou needn't bother with the book on ethics (it looks awfully heavy). . .or your book on etiquette either, for that matter. Those things will just get in the way.
Yes, make your burden lighter. . . gooood!
Now, a few brief notes on your new identity. You're about to become a Penny-Stock Hypester! You'll be harnessing the power of a new medium--online computer communications--in order to promote the purchase of thinly-traded penny stocks issued by companies with the usual dubious prospects. Your primary mission will be to convince others to buy these stocks, just after your own purchase. A successful hype job will net you rapid and large capital gains, which you'll do best to liquidate as quickly as possible before moving on to the next. Sound promising?
It gets better. You see, we recently discovered a gem of a pamphlet, "The Compleat Hypester," in the back room of a local pawn shop. We've decided to print six selections from this veritable anatomy of Hype, to start you on your way. We hope it helps. Don't forget your friends. And hey, send us a fiver!