Post of the Day
November 10, 1998
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Subject: BUY, HOLD, SELL, OR JUMP?
BUY, HOLD, SELL, OR JUMP?
Volume 1, Number 1
A publication of
Hype and Hysteria Investment Advisors
The Market Outlook
Since all newsletters say they can predict the market, we aren't going to be any different. A number of economic indicators have been input to our proprietary system of valuations. This indicates that the market could be in for a number of possibilities. Quite possibly we are in for a period of consolidation, or perhaps some push-pull activity. Conversely, we may see some contrarian action, bringing the market to some strong moves.
We recommend that all investors and speculators be cognizant of the possible moves, and be ready to take action.
Our Recommended Picks
Coca-Cola was definitely a buy in its recent low point of $57 a share. All Hysterians should have made a point of buying at that price. This should represent a low, unless the stock drifts downwards below that. In such case, all Hysterians should sell at the high point.
Other stocks recommended are the ones that will see a marked run up in today's market. Stocks that will drift downward are short candidates.
H&H Help Wanted
Due to the remarkable increase in business, we are seeking more help here at H&H. To apply, simply post with your proposed job title. The title should be grandiose yet meaningless, like the ones given out in distributive marketing organizations. It is perfectly acceptable to have "Emperor", "Empress", "King", or "Queen" in your title. Redundant titles must have the word redundant in them.
Other Corporate Tasks
We still are in need of a mission and vision statement. While both are meaningless (making them well suited to H&H), they must be rather brief. A mission statement is what an organization is supposed to do. A vision statement is what an organization wants to become.
Supposedly, these two statements will inspire employees to work not for money but for the job satisfaction of helping the organization succeed. Sadly, I didn't make that bit of nonsense up, it comes from a Quality Thought daily calendar that was full of other nonsense. It seems quite suited to our firm.
Our slogan seems to be, "Where the Customer's Needs Are Just That". There is another slogan I saw back in the posts, but I'd have to go look for it, and I'm too lazy.
This concludes this newletter, subscriptions are available for $10,000 a year ($100,000 Canadian). Feel free to send me all the money, I promise to get issues out occasionally.
Chief Floculator and Grand Emperor, Atlanta Division
H&H Investment Advisors
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