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By Prof. A. Lolis
April 1, 2004

Hormel Food Corporation announced yesterday that it intends to file a lawsuit against the federal government over the recent signing of the CAN-SPAM law. 

CAN-SPAM (Controlling the Assault of Non-Solicited Pornography and Marketing) was created to help America's consumers and businesses combat unsolicited direct email marketing. "We hate junk mail just as much as anyone," said Lou Loomis, spokesman for Hormel. "But this law prevents us from sending out legitimate and solicited information about many of our products, specifically SPAM luncheon meat."

Hormel's complaints stem from the fact that any email sent out containing the word "SPAM" is immediately filtered by mail services such as America Online and MSN. The company is arguing that the new legislation will turn its legitimate marketing efforts from difficult to nearly impossible. "We sent out over 100,000 emails to our customers and only 15 were received," said Loomis.

Hormel's biggest grievances are primarily related to the SPAM product line, but the company has also found it difficult to inform customers about new products and offerings, according to Loomis. "It doesn't end with SPAM," said Loomis. "We've had tremendous difficulty in getting the word out about our newest product, Giant Hunk of Beef." 

In an official grievance filed yesterday, Hormel listed several other products whose sales have been affected by recent anti-spam legislation.  The products include:

• HOT, HOT, HOT! Chili
• Barely Legal Microwave Meals
• Via Grassi Olive Oil
• Mail Order Bride Pepperoni

Hormel also plans to change its current slogan "Hormel: Lo0k Younqer Whl1e L0sln9 We1ght" and will discontinue its latest ad campaign "Hormel Bacon, so good you'll want to refinance your home and order HGH without wzj shguusjolidfoi sdflk.cxvvvv."

Not getting all the SPAM emails you want? Let the government know!