<THE FRIBBLE>
Wednesday, August 18, 1999
The Day Trader's Song
(Sung to the tune of The Wizard of Oz's "If I Only Had a Brain")
I just always want to dicker, while starin' at the ticker
Amnesia blocks my pain
And the margins I'd be coverin', and my wife and kids not sufferin'
If I only had a gain
I expected things to break out, when I left (five minutes!) for "take out"
'cause I was feelin' kind of strained
When I returned I'd missed the rally, add this loss onto my tally
If I only had a gain!
Oh I, can tell you why, the Dow's reaching the sky
But hindsight's perfect vision doesn't help explain
My huge losses, and their great gains
I would really like a winner, so we could have some dinner
with meat, just for a change
But all my wealth and I have parted, just one-tenth left, from where I started
If I only had a gain!
Lately it has been my thinkin' My portfolio, it's stinkin'
This Day Tradin's been my bane
Mutual funds look pretty good now, even bonds at six percent, wow!
If I only had a gain!
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