Fribble After the Recession

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October 10, 2000

Inspired by TMF Otter's essay on "How the Recession Will Begin."

From The Wall Street Journal, March, 2009:

Shares of the defunct dot-com "Amazon" set a new record today when a rare round lot was sold to well-known "collectibles" fanatic Richard Kranium by Mr. Sal Vajir, a part-time school bus driver from East Las Vegas, Nevada, for $3.5 million. The sale was conducted over eBay.

Once a Wall Street darling, Amazon, the former Internet powerhouse, was overpowered itself in the nationwide banking collapse. For nearly a decade ex-chairman Jeffrey Bezos had managed to stave off creditors with his "We have a plan for becoming profitable, and we are following that plan" speeches, while each year losing more millions than the year before.

When the banking industry went down the toilet, the vast majority of Amazon stock certificates followed, as millions of impoverished investors sought to economize on Charmin. The farsighted Mr. Vajir, an avid collector of Marvel comics, Pokemon cards, and Beanie Babies, knew better: "When those shares sank to thousandths of a cent, my dentist just gave me his. Well, I never throw anything away, so I just filed 'em. Sooner or later everything that's ever been in fashion comes back. Nostalgia, I guess they call it. I guess you could call me a buy-and-hold investor."

When asked his plans for the windfall, the bucolic Vajir replied, "Dunno yet. Goodyear tires from '99 are worth a lot now, especially if you can find a set of four that you can prove were factory-mounted as original equipment on any car built that year. Then again, there's always Tootsie Roll"