Just when you thought Martha Stewart's ego inflation knew no bounds, then comes this. Yesterday, the wires were buzzing with hints that the home-decorator-turned-convict would try a novel approach to keep herself out of the clink: the "I'm too important" defense.
According to a report in The Wall Street Journal, Stewart's liars -- I mean, lawyers -- will argue that jail time would be unfair to her company, Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia (NYSE: MSO), and its employees. The clever move is based on a 1995 appeals court precedent, and media descriptions of the tactic include woeful warnings (or are those threats?) of impending layoffs.
Maybe the Fastows should have tried this excuse. Surely, well-groomed Lea could have asked her clothiers and stylists to offer an impassioned claim of hardship, something along the lines of "If she doesn't come in for her weekly eyebrow pluck, how will I put my kids through college?"
Pardon me. The angry, small-town hick was doing the talking there. But this is exactly the kind of cosmopolitan arrogance that makes us citizens of Podunk want to secede from the union, or at least soak the rich with new taxes.
With all due respect to (my boss!) David Gardner, who made her firm a Motley Fool Stock Advisor pick, Martha never passed the management sniff test with me. But then, back when I lived in New York, I was privy to too many tales of the impatient, upwardly mobile home-design queen's less-than-savory behavior. Martha's greedy and stupid dumping of ImClone Systems (Nasdaq: IMCL) shares, and the subsequent cover-up, only confirmed what I long suspected: She's not trustworthy.
Moreover, there's plenty o' evidence that Miss Martha is, in fact, a liability to her company -- her recent, half-million-dollar "bonus" notwithstanding. Alyce Lomax recently detailed the latest crummy results for her namesake company and its expanding efforts to distance itself from the Martha moniker.
Let's not forget: She was a stockbroker, and she sat on the board of the NYSE. She knew the rules. She broke 'em anyway, and lied to avoid the consequences. Here's hoping that the judge ignores her latest sob story and throws her in jail for a well-deserved timeout.
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Fool contributor Seth Jayson has always thought that Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia sounded like a diabolical front for Dr. Evil. He has no stake in any firms mentioned. View his Fool profile here.
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