All work and no play makes anyone a dull Fool. Lest you focus solely on whether the dollar is in trouble, or on how to make millions from thousands, here's a quick roundup of some of the stranger and funnier financial news this week.
Redefining "monkey business"
In Russia, a chimpanzee named Lusha picked eight stocks for a portfolio -- which ended up beating the performance of 94% of Russia's investment bankers. We've seen similar performances in the U.S.; The Wall Street Journal periodically has pros compete against portfolios assembled via darts on a dartboard. As Lusha demonstrates, there's often more luck than skill involved in great short-term returns.
Plumbing unexpected depths
At first glance, you'd think Chemed's (NYSE: CHE ) two main businesses wouldn't go together well. On one side, its VITAS division is America's biggest hospice-care provider. On the other? Roto-Rooter, the well-known plumbing and drain-cleaning service. Go figure.
Of course, many conglomerates house a wide variety of businesses under their roofs. Berkshire Hathaway (NYSE: BRK-B ) , for example, operates in insurance, candy, and private jets, among many other activities. Fortune Brands (NYSE: FO ) makes everything from whiskey to faucets to golf balls. General Electric (NYSE: GE ) offers jet engines, credit cards, and light bulbs, among many other goods and services.
Like mutual funds? Hate legislators?
The Congressional Effect (CEFFX) fund aims to track the S&P 500 -- but only when the U.S. Congress is on break. When Congress is in session, the fund goes entirely to cash. Whatever you think about the influence government has on the markets, the fund was a loser last year, falling 4% versus a gain of more than 22% for the S&P 500.
One! Surgical sensation! ...
You'd think any hospital trying to attract workers might showcase state-of-the-art equipment by Stryker (NYSE: SYK ) or robotic surgery machines by Intuitive Surgical (Nasdaq: ISRG ) -- or at the very least, brag about a generous vacation policy. Sacre-Coeur Hospital in Montreal is trying a slightly different tactic. It's recruiting workers via videos of singing doctors, patients dancing with IV drip machines, and children playing with stethoscopes. I visited Sacre-Coeur Hospital once. If there were any singing doctors present, I didn't see them.
Not exactly built for speed
Wal-Mart (NYSE: WMT ) might want to stock slower motorized scooters for those who need assistance shopping. A man who had recently been released from a hospital stole $50 from an ex-girlfriend in a Pennsylvania Wal-Mart, and then apparently tried to flee the scene on one of the scooters. Not too surprisingly, he was apprehended.
Now that we've hopefully amused you, check out the rest of Fool.com for more of the "educate" and "enrich" parts of our motto. And stay away from stock-picking chimps; however impressive their returns, we hear they have a tendency to go bananas.
We know investing isn't all fun and games. Paul Elliott wants to show you three reasons you're being set up to fail.
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