British-born attorney Stephen Joseph wants Oreo cookies banned in California until Kraft Foods (NYSE: KFT) stops using hydrogenated or partially hydrogenated oils to make the snacks. Puh-leeze.
Altria (NYSE: MO), the parent of Kraft and cigarette maker Philip Morris, can get sued for hiding the dangers of cigarettes, and that doesn't bother me. I still don't believe that anyone has ever drawn in that first puff of smoke, stared through eyes flowing with tears, coughed furiously, and thought, "This is good for me" -- but at least I can understand the basis for legal action. However, when Kraft gets sued for making Oreos, I have to wonder if all is right with the world.
Mr. Joseph is attempting to take advantage of a part of the California civil code that is meant to hold companies liable for their products if they are not "known to be unsafe by the ordinary consumer." He claims he is probably "full of hydrogenated fat" because he's been eating Oreos all his life.
I say that's not all he's full of. But here's what really sealed it for me. Joseph says Kraft is liable because the fats in Oreos "have been so well hidden."
Ahem. Is it possible? Could those creamy, chocolatey little pieces of joy actually be (gasp!) bad for us?
Well, of course, they are! They're little blocks of colored sugar and preservatives. Other than this brain surgeon, did the rest of us ever have a doubt? That's why, after all, we have five basic food groups instead of just chocolate and cream.
Obviously, I'm a little steamed about this whole thing, and it's not just because of my love for all things Oreo. This case, and others like it, demonstrates a perverse trend in our great country whereby individuals would like to be completely absolved of responsibility for their actions. The truth is, we often have no one to blame but ourselves, and our lifestyles, for the messes we find ourselves in.
It's not the cookies; it's the fact that this bonehead has been eating them like broccoli florets all his life. But life is so much easier, and more profitable, when it's someone else's fault.
Don't get me wrong -- there are folks out there who deserve some recourse. When I see a suit from all those people who bought spray-on hair, then I'll stand up and say, "Go get 'em!" And I'll be saying it with a mouthful of Oreos.
Mathew Emmert owns shares of Altria in his portfolio and globs of hydrogenated oil in his posterior.
RSS Headlines
Fool UK
