If you're taking to the air this Labor Day weekend, you may notice a change at your airport security check. For the past 16 years, ticket agents have asked, "Has anyone unknown to you asked you to carry an item on this flight?" and "Have any of the items you are traveling with been out of your immediate control since the time you packed them?"
But now the Transportation Department will stop the questioning, saying it likely never prevented any wrongdoing. Officials are billing this as a "customer-friendly" change that will make the flying experience more enjoyable. That gave us a few ideas:
Top 10 Other Airline Customer-Friendly Changes:
10. Will no longer ask passengers, "Did you see our tip jar? Spare change might set the metal detectors off."
9. Will increase size of peanut packets from 12 to 13 grams.
8. Will no longer jiggle your body fat and sing "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town" during searches.
7. Flight attendants will no longer intentionally block bathrooms with beverage carts.
6. First Class passengers now have the option of choosing which screener will strip-search them.
5. Will take down "Please contribute to our fuel fund" signs.
4. New betting pools for guessing the fastest smoker out of the terminal.
3. Special ventilated section for bean-eating passengers.
2. Annoying spouses now classified as "carry-on" luggage.
1. America West pilots promise two-drink maximum.