The major indexes all closed sharply lower today. Could this be the dreaded September blitz we were warned about? We'll soon find out. Until we do, remember that volatility is the nature of the equity markets -- it's the price you pay for long-term returns you can't get from most any other asset class.

On Monday, it was the falling dollar. Today, it was OPEC choking the oil supply. Tomorrow, it will likely be something else. None of us can see the future, but we all can choose wisely, stay diversified, make a plan, and stick to it. Then, if it helps not to look for one day, we say go for it.

In today's Motley Fool Take:

Dinner, Interrupted

By Bill Mann (TMF Otter)

Just a few days shy of the Oct. 1 effective date for the Do Not Call List, a U.S. District Court Judge in Oklahoma struck down the list on the basis that the Federal Trade Commission lacks congressional authority to develop and maintain it.

Do Not Call is the federal government's initiative to allow individuals the right to opt out from receiving telemarketing calls. Just when you thought you'd get a single dinner without a call from AT&T(NYSE: T), some no-name mortgage company, or someone with a time-share offer in the Poconos, it looks as if the telemarketers have lived on to dial another day.

Judge Lee West determined that Congress gave funding to the FTC to manage the list, but has failed to grant it the authority to implement such a list. No regulatory authority may make determinations in the public interest without specific authority granted by Congress. The FTC must decide whether to either appeal the ruling or go to Congress to have it grant the necessary authority to enact the list. Either route will necessarily cause a delay in implementation. Heavy users of telemarketing such as the telecom carriers, as well as service providers like eOn Communications(Nasdaq: EONC), the Direct Marketing Association, and millions of telemarketing employees are certainly breathing somewhat easier today.

As an aside, two weeks ago I spent a quiet evening at home as my family had gone out with friends. Know how many telemarketing calls I received over a five-hour period? Thirty-one. My libertarian tendencies inform my belief that the government has no business developing, keeping, and administering such a list, but you can bet your bottom dollar that a few more evenings with a telemarketing call coming in every 10 minutes for hours on end might increase my willingness to bend my principles.

Denial of a legitimate business simply doesn't seem to be part of the mandate of the government, and whether or not industry estimates of 2 million lost jobs as a result are accurate, there should be no question that there will be an employment effect -- and it will be negative. On the other hand -- 31 calls?! That's absurd.

The problem in all of this is that many years ago the powers that be botched the concept of telephone number ownership. In any situation, if you conduct business using my property, I ought to have the right to bill you for the privilege. If individuals owned their telephone numbers, they would be able to charge telemarketers for the right to use them. You call me about "doing a storm window project in my area?" Sure, I'll talk to you. That'll be $1.

But for now the best hope for those looking to get some semblance of peace in their homes seems to be the appeals process. Many Congressmen, naturally, were indignant at the court's suggestion that they screwed something up. Or possibly the Direct Marketing Association should be taken at its word that it recognizes that 50 million American households have made known that they're sick and tired of its practices and make changes on its own.

Regardless of the end result, don't expect things to get quieter on Oct. 1.

Quote of Note

"Today the ringing of the telephone takes precedence over everything. It reaches a point of terrorism, particularly at dinnertime." -- Niels Diffrient

Microsoft Shuts Up

By Rex Moore (TMF Orangeblood)

Reports are circulating today that Microsoft(Nasdaq: MSFT) will discontinue its MSN chat service in 28 countries. Chat will remain in the U.S., but only for paid subscribers. The reason? Spam and pornography have turned many of the chat rooms into undesirable, and even dangerous, places.

I could find no official announcement from Microsoft, so I went straight to -- where else? -- the chat room help desk to find more information. This is a condensed version of my actual chat:

Guide_Stephen: Rex55201 Welcome to the MSN US CHAT HelpDesk. Thanks for waiting patiently. How may I help you today?


Rex55201: Do you have a link to the official announcement on the new chat policies?


Guide_Stephen: Rex55201, As of October 14th, MSN Chat will become a subscription-only service
Guide_Stephen: Rex55201, Chatters who do not have a subscription will be able to observe conversations in chat rooms, but will be unable to actively participate or use other MSN Chat features.
Guide_Stephen: Rex55201, These changes are intended to help protect chat users from unsolicited information such as spam, and to better protect children from inappropriate communication online.
Guide_Stephen: Rex55201, MSN Chat will also be included in MSN Internet Access (offered only in the U.S.).


Rex55201: Yes, but I'd like a link to the official press release.
Guide_Stephen: Rex55201, that link contains all the information made available.


Rex55201: That link didn't have all the info, because I've read more elsewhere.
Guide_Stephen: Rex55201, unfortunately that link contains all the official information made to us.


Rex55201: Why would they keep you in the dark? :-)
Guide_Stephen: Rex55201, We're sorry, but there are many people waiting in line right now so I have to move on. However, I will come back to you in a moment so please have your question pre-typed and ready to go :-)

8Guide_Stephen has made Rex55201 a Spectator.
Welcome_Bot whispers to Rex55201: Thanks for visiting HelpDesk. I hope that the GUIDE (Guide_Stephen) was able to help you.
You have been kicked out of the chat room by Host Guide_Stephen: Thank you for using the MSN Helpdesk :-)

Guide_Stephen, who must be having a bad day, never came back to me. But a Microsoft spokesman told Reuters that getting rid of chat in Europe, the Middle East, Africa, and much of Asia and Latin America would help ditch non-paying customers and push more people toward its instant messenger service.

There apparently are no plans for other companies to follow suit. According to Reuters, AOL Time Warner(NYSE: AOL) and Yahoo!(Nasdaq: YHOO) said Microsoft's decision will have no influence on their own policies.

Though there will always be free, unmoderated chat rooms out there, Mr. Softy's decision seems the next logical step toward the monetization of popular Internet services and features. Other for-profit companies will eventually follow in its footsteps.

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The Cisco Kid

Money isn't usually funny. Even funny money isn't all that funny. But you have to chuckle at the recent wave of share repurchase announcements. Cisco Systems(Nasdaq: CSCO) became the latest tech company to announce a massive buyback program, earmarking $7 billion for future repurchases.

Still waiting for the punch line? Well, it's that the joke is old, see. This is Cisco's fourth repurchase announcement in two years. In total, $20 billion has been set aside for these stock buybacks. However, as of this summer, the company had spent just $7.8 billion acquiring outstanding shares.

Don't worry. Cisco isn't alone. On Friday, Hewlett-Packard(NYSE: HPQ) revealed its third buyback over the past year despite still having room to buy, apparently, under its earlier announcements.

Wouldn't it be great if Wall Street operated like one of those all-you-can-eat rib joints? You know, where you can't ask for seconds until you've cleaned your plate?

Clearly, there is more to the science of the buyback than the desire to acquire stock (which, in itself, can be a noble act, assuming the company has the balance sheet to back it up). And, no bones about it, these companies have the cash. But why is Cisco announcing a repurchase after its stock has more than doubled over the past year? Why didn't it buy back more of its shares at the bottom?

The buyback has become a press junket. Just as with the dubious timing of Microsoft's(Nasdaq: MSFT) dividend rollout earlier this year, many companies ripe with balance sheet greenery are using their cash the way a hard body flexes at the beach when the pretty faces stroll by. It's mostly for show.

And it's not just tech stocks. Our own David Marino-Nachison took a closer look at Gillette's(NYSE: G) 50-million share buyback announcement last week. Yes, even the razor makers know when to take their cuts, as Gillette had an unfilled balance on its previous repurchase.

So, Cisco, we get the point. You have a lot of money. You want us all to know that your stock should be perceived as a bargain despite its recent surge. Got it. But do us proud with that earmarked sum. Act on those words -- and don't say another word until the act is complete.

Discussion Board of the Day: Cisco

What do you think of Cisco's buyback? Any thoughts on the company's fundamentals above and beyond its earmarked sums? If you're a fan of Cisco, are you a router rooter? All this and more -- in the Cisco discussion board. Only on Fool.com.

And Finally...

A couple of cautionary tales on Fool.com today... Rex Moore says that when it comes to investing, Don't Turn Luck Into Disaster. (You'll also want to read it for the Lefty Gomez quotes.) And Bill Mann warns you not to lie with dogs, as AIG did when it helped Brightpoint hide some losses.

In the sports analogy portion of the program, Tom Gardner shows us The Next Home Run Stock.

And in stylish retirement news, our in-house fashionista, Dayana Yochim, shows you How to Be Thin and Rich while dapper Robert Brokamp is Rethinking Retirement.

Contributors:
Bob Bobala, Robert Brokamp, Paul Elliott, Mathew Emmert, Jeff Fischer, Tom Jacobs, Jeff Hwang, LouAnn Lofton, Alyce Lomax, Bill Mann, Selena Maranjian, Dave Marino-Nachison, Rex Moore, Rick Munarriz, Matt Richey, Reggie Santiago, Dayana Yochim