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9:00 a.m. -- eMeringue Offering Raised to $22 Per Share
Due to high demand, shares of Internet company eMeringue have been priced at $22 per share, doubling the previously intended offering price of $11 per share. Online financial service The Motley Fool is underwriting the offering, and according to Gary Hill, interim Senior Vice President at the Fool, public interest in the offering has been incredibly high.

"We couldn't be more excited," commented Larry McCloskey, CEO of eMeringue. "I've always felt that we could make it on the Internet, and the high demand for our stock now confirms my beliefs." Motley Fool research analyst Jonathan Sack added, "I've thoroughly looked at the financials of this company, and I'm rating eMeringue as a STRONG BUY."

eMeringue offers the largest meringue delivery service on the Internet. Founded in May 1998, the company's 1998 revenues exceeded $11 million. The eMeringue website features a wide variety of meringue-related products for customer ordering and receives over one million impressions daily.

10:00 a.m. - eMeringue Opens at $84 Per Share
IPO shares of eMeringue opened at $84 per share, well above the offering price of $22 per share. With 3.5 million shares outstanding, the company's market capitalization is $293 million as of today's open.

Larry McCloskey, chairman and CEO of eMeringue, is excited but cautious. "It's tempting to break out the champagne and Juicy Fruit, but who knows where we'll end up? As long as we close above 10 [dollars per share], we'll call today a success."

Since May 1998, eMeringue has set the standard for Internet food shopping, guaranteeing delivery of a pie meringue to anywhere in the U.S. in seven days. The company was founded last year when McCloskey transformed his failing auto parts business into a successful online meringue operation.

11:00 a.m. - eMeringue Announces 3-for-1 Stock Split
Shares of eMeringue have rocketed to unprecedented heights, climbing to $149 as of 11:00 a.m. EST this morning. "This has been one of the most successful first days of an IPO that I can recall," said analyst Rudolph Barnes. "But who can argue with the current valuation? Their website is very impressive and the product is top notch. I just bought five meringues for a client lunch next week," commented Barnes.

To prevent the price from escalating out of control, eMeringue CEO Larry McCloskey has announced a 3-for-1 stock split, effective next Monday. Many analysts, including e-commerce expert Charles Scarborough have been stunned by eMeringue's IPO and split announcement. "This is unprecedented. A stock split on the day of their IPO? Somebody call the brain police, because I think McCloskey's had a break-in," said Scarborough.

"Splits are a great way to keep the stock moving up. And as far as I know, nobody's ever announced a split during their IPO," said Larry McCloskey, CEO of eMeringue. "That's why we're such a ground-breaking company."

12:00 - eMeringue Initiates Hostile Takeover
With the enormous success of today's IPO, eMeringue has decided to use its stock as currency. Larry McCloskey, chairman and CEO of eMeringue has submitted a proposal today to the board of directors of Cyber Crust to acquire all of the company's capital stock.

Matthew Anderson, chairman and CEO of Cyber Crust was notably upset by the hostile bid, saying, "This [hostile takeover] is ridiculous. We've been in the crust business for almost 10 years. A year ago, eMeringue was selling auto parts. Rest assured, we'll do everything in our power to block this takeover. Hell, I'd even break McCloskey's legs if that's what it takes... but don't quote me on that."

The proposal offered $40 for each share of Cyber Crust, almost four times higher than the current trading price of $11 per share. McCloskey noted, "This will be the first step towards our five-year goal of producing an entire pie."

IPO shares of eMeringue opened at $84. As of noon today (EST), shares were trading at $218 with incredibly heavy volume. In a previous press release, eMeringue announced a 3-for-1 stock split effective April 8, 1999.

1:00 p.m. - IPO Marred by Rumors of Food Poisoning
In keeping with the dumbfounding event that is the eMeringue IPO, the Public Health Service has issued a statement saying that they will launch a formal investigation of eMeringue in response to numerous cases of food poisoning across the Eastern Seaboard. Ten individuals have been admitted into area hospitals with nausea, dizziness, and hemorrhaging from the ears. All ten patients had eaten eMeringue products earlier that day.

Chairman and CEO of eMeringue Larry McCloskey defended his company. "We ship thousands of meringues a day with no complaints. I'm betting these incidents are nothing more than minor stomach flu or Q-Tip misuse. We use nothing but natural ingredients and no preservatives of any sort. Every meringue is handled and tasted by three different inspectors to ensure quality control," said McCloskey.

Upon investigating one of the suspect meringues, Public Health Service investigator Camille Guryansky noted that the meringue was shipped in a pizza box with no apparent method of refrigeration. "I guess they didn't have any earlier problems because it's been winter up till just recently."

Shares of eMeringue opened today at $84 and were trading at $319 before the news of the investigation was released.

2:00 p.m. - Class Action Lawsuit Filed Against eMeringue
Families of the 470 individuals inflicted with food poisoning from ingesting seven-day old meringue have filed a major class action lawsuit against eMeringue. The company is being accused of keeping unsanitary conditions, using improper shipping methods, and illegally building on a cemetery.

Food-poison victim Julie Gierach issued an obscenity-filled statement to the media this afternoon: [Ed note: The statement has been edited so that it may appear on this site.] "What eMeringue did is a crock of food. If I get my hands on those no-goodies, I'll grab them by the arms and pull until their dumb noses are sticking out of their non-descript, carrot-eating, wind tunnels."

Larry McCloskey, the CEO of eMeringue issued a rebuttal: "I feel terrible for Ms. Gierach and the others who are suffering. However, I'm positive that our meringues were not responsible. But just to compensate for any ill will, we'll be sending every poison victim an eMeringue mousepad. And, of course, 50% off on their next meringue purchase."

eMeringue was trading at $101 per share as of 2 p.m. EST this afternoon. The price has plummeted since its earlier high of $319 an hour ago.

3:00 p.m. - eMeringue Announces 1-for-5 Reverse Stock Split
eMeringue announced this afternoon that effective next Tuesday, shares of their stock will split 1 for 5.

"It's quite unusual for a IPO company to announce a stock split and a reverse stock split in the same day, " noted Internet specialist Christopher Guthrie. "I'm not permitted to give financial advice, but if I were allowed to, I'd recommend selling as quickly as possible."

Larry McCloskey, CEO of eMeringue could not be reached by phone, but sent out what can only be described as a hastily written e-mail: "This is notting more than thje whimscal nature of the INternet. Im sure we'll bounce bakc tomooorow."

Shares of eMeringue were trading at $32 at 3 p.m. EST today.

4:00 p.m. - SEC Reveals Fraudulent Accounting Practices of eMeringue
The SEC released a report late today that eMeringue has fabricated most of the data on its 1998 Annual Report. eMeringue had declared revenues in excess of $11 million, when in actuality all of that revenue was from McCloskey Auto Parts, the company that was closed down in May 1998 to form eMeringue.

James Maloney, who headed up the investigation for the SEC, commented, "The entire Annual Report was a phony, right down to the pictures of the corporate headquarters and their production facility. Apparently they just stole some photos off the Web."

After examining eMeringue's financial books, the SEC reported that in eMeringue's six months of operation, the company had sold a total of 30 meringues. The rest were bought by Larry McCloskey himself or were given away.

McCloskey could not be reached for comment. A warrant for his arrest has been issued. He currently remains at large.

eMeringue shares closed this afternoon at $0.25 per share, well off the IPO opening of $84.

5:00 p.m. - eMeringue CEO Hijacks Cruise Ship
At 4:53 p.m. EST today, beleaguered CEO of eMeringue Larry McCloskey seized control of the Carnival cruise ship Sensation and instructed the crew to head to Finland. Armed with only a frosting gun and a dozen eggs, McCloskey burst into the control room, demanding that the ship change its course.

Eyewitnesses say that McCloskey had downed at least seven wine coolers and was not very coherent when he assaulted the captain. Repeated attempts to apprehend McCloskey have failed as the CEO had apparently coated himself with egg whites and was quite slippery.

Sensation social director Cathy Long had witnessed McCloskey just before the hijacking. "We were right in the middle of 'Wrap Your Spouse with Toilet Paper,' when some idiot bursts onto the Empress Deck, yelling 'Whip This!' He knocked over an ice sculpture, put the DJ in a headlock, and stumbled back inside. Egyptian Night is ruined," said a teary-eyed Long.

eMeringue was delisted from its exchange and will no longer be publicly traded.

6:00 p.m. - eMeringue CEO Arrested
In a messy struggle, authorities have apprehended Larry McCloskey, CEO of eMeringue. McCloskey had hijacked a Carnival cruise ship after the miserable failure of his company's IPO. eMeringue's stock initially went through the roof, but plummeted late in the afternoon as a result of SEC investigations and class action lawsuits.

At 4:53 p.m. EST, McCloskey seized control of the helm, demanding to be taken to Finland. Holding three Sensation crewmembers hostage with a frosting gun, the eMeringue CEO held ship security at bay for almost an hour. "The guy had completely lost it. He kept babbling incoherent orders to imaginary accomplices. We'd have burst in there earlier, but he had sealed the doorway shut with phyllo dough," said head of Carnival security Frank Golding.

Fortunately for the crew, the spoiled meringues that McCloskey had packed with him began releasing noxious fumes, temporarily blinding the disoriented CEO. When security finally blowtorched through the door, McCloskey attempted to slit his wrists with an icing spatula before collapsing. The eMeringue chairman was hosed down, handcuffed, and taken into custody.

6:15 p.m. -- The Motley Fool Issues Statement

After the disastrous performance of eMeringue, Inc. today, David and Tom Gardner released the following statement to the press:

"Wow. What we originally thought was a great idea has totally backfired, as eMeringue's stock closed today at $0.25 a share. In retrospect, we might have spent more time researching the company's fundamentals, instead of buying into the fluffy charm of Marty Meringue and the Eggulator.

"Though we do think Marty can help build a great brand.

"All we say is... thank goodness we sold our entire stake in eMeringue at 12:30 p.m. when the stock was trading at around $250 per share. We just had a hunch that not everything was as sweet and tasty as eMeringue was leading us to believe.

"We only hope that those of you who bought shares earlier in the day were smart enough to get out when we did. It's just like we always say, 'If you're itching to sell, you probably should.'

"Despite the mess that is now eMeringue, we're now richer than our wildest dreams. We will definitely be looking for another company to bring public in the next month or so. And here's a tip: Buy really early, and then sell right before the bad news hits. We can't possibly see how you could lose money that way.

"Fool on!"


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