Shakespeare's Portfolio Discovered
Contest

The following story is part of our 2000 April Fools' joke. For an explanation of why we did the joke, click here.

When Chester Rozalowski handed us a check for $500 million, we were very touched. We didn't expect a dime. But he insisted. So, we weren't going to complain for too long!

That's why we decided to launch a contest. What better way to share this gift than to give some of the wealth back to our customers. So brace yourselves, it's our...

Win a Month of Beef Giveaway!

The contest is easy. All you have to do is write a poem about any aspect of this incredible story. If you're really motivated, you can adhere to the strict Shakespearean sonnet form, but we'll leave that up to you. To submit your poem, just go to our Shakespeare's Portfolio message board and click on Post New. You will have to register, but that's a small price to pay for a month of beef, right? And if you think we're kidding, we're not. The winner WILL receive three boxes of Omaha steaks. Promise. Read the official contest rules here.

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    Shakespeare's Portfolio Discovered
  • Introduction
  • About the Portfolio
  • Graphical Timeline of the Portfolio
  • Press Conference
  • Thesis Excerpt
  • Unpublished Scene
  • About Chester Rozalowski
  • Fool Commentary
  • How We Spent the $500 Million
  • Contest
  • Shakespeare Message Board
  • E-mail us!