The following story is part of our 2000 April Fools' joke. For an explanation of why we did the joke, click here.

We were extremely excited and flattered to receive Chester Rozalowski's $500 million gift. But how should we spend all this money? After hours of heated discussions and tension-filled meetings, we decided to spend the money in four different ways: Rewarding our customers, buying better Web hardware and software, improving the working conditions at our office, and positioning ourselves to be a dominent force in the financial world for years to come. Here's a breakdown of how the money was spent.

How we spent the loot
Deep space Fool satellite	$185,000,000
Motley Fool Riverboat Casino	$113,000,000
Renamed North Dakota to "Fool.com"	$53,000,000
Vincent Van Gogh's "Sunflowers"	$44,400,000
10 Super Bowl XXXV ads	$30,000,000
Inter-office monorail	$18,000,000
Luxembourg	$15,000,000
The Montreal Expos	$10,000,000
Settlement payouts from "Kidnap Your Broker" promotion	$7,800,000
Office Jumbotron	$6,000,000
Tom Gardner's Belgian hair growth treatment	$4,565,000
Foolicopter	$3,880,000
Fool HQ "Monkey Adventure"	$2,440,000
One million lottery tickets	$2,000,000
Parsley	$1,500,000
Laser Eye Surgery for every Fool employee	$1,500,000
Planet Hollywood, Inc. buyout	$865,000
Caviar bust of Warren Buffett in office lobby	$500,000
Brunch with the Pope	$200,000
Conference room hot tubs	$125,000
Ermine mouse pads	$118,000
One share of Berkshire Hathaway	$50,000
Employee "Educate, Amuse, Enrich" tattoos	$23,000
Hired Mr. T as official spokesman	$20,300
Fudging of Rule Breaker Portfolio returns	$6,000
David Gardner's audition for American Gladiators	$5,500
Upgraded hardware/Web servers	$900
Gallon of vanilla extract	$500
Additional topping at pizza happy hours	$365
Doorbell	$125
Funyuns	$110
Staple removers	$90
Gauze pads	$60
Omaha Steak Contest Giveaway	$50
Total	$500,000,000

Next: Win a Month of Beef Contest »

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