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November 18, 1998

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Subject: glimpse of the future
Author: forestfan

A glimpse into the crystal ball:

Jan 2001 : President Gore makes "internet" compulsory for all households - "failure to get on the net is a crime against the generations to come, we must act now to lower this crime rate..."

Feb 2001 : Barnes and Noble announces $153B takeover of UPS - "we have found that AMZN is using UPS to deliver book/lobster/CD/lingerie/cigar orders and we are determined to compete with this goliath of e-commerce"

Oct 2001 : AMZN announces $0.01 Q3 profit - Bezos laments "we forgot to pay one small advertising bill this quarter - we goofed - the company will show a decent loss for Q4"

Nov 2001 : Tom Gardner elected senator for Maryland - now to be known as "The Fool on the Hill".

Dec 2001 : Dale and "Bears" agree on definition of "cash-flow" - finally!

Jan 2002 : announces new system - once a month you receive a book you didn't order but the "artifical intelligence" knew you would like and billed your credit card anyway - you can return it but only to the central warehouse in Germany and UPS now charges $250 per package for books (strange?).

Feb 2002 : BKS announces takeover of Weyerhauser - "we found AMZN was selling books printed on paper - we must compete with this goliath of e-commerce".

Mar 2003 : An eight-year-old in Santa Clara thinks of a new word ending in "dot com" - Dad incorporates and company goes public 15 minutes later at $5 per share but trades immediately at $97. Float is 1,000 shares - management retains 999,999,000 shares. Daily volume ? 2,300,405. Message board gets 958 messages on first day - all titled "when can I short this sucker!" Stock soars to $198.

Jan 2005 : President Malcolm Forbes announces end to income tax collection : "Now that everyone is on the internet (thanks AL) - we no longer need to collect tax the old inefficient way by having people file tax returns - using "tax-bot" software (designed by AMZN) a Government computer seeks out any income, calculates probable deductions and directly debits your account.

Feb 2005 : AMZN makes highest bid to run privatized IRS - TMF states "this will be the touch and steal community of the future". BGP buys BKS.

Apr 2005 : AMZN announces 1Q profit of $1.4 Billion - pays no federal tax - because of previous losses!

fool on'

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