<COMMUNITY>
Post of the Day
June 10, 1999

From our
Living Below Your Means Folder

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Subject: Re: Bank/Credit accounts and Marital Harmony
Author: klr105

I figured I'd enter into your unofficial survey. My husband and I have been together for nearly 7 years now (between dating years and married years), with no kids. We make roughly about the same amount of money and we keep one joint account. I am truly fortunate in that my husband and I agree on 99% of money-spending issues. I guess the biggest thing for us is that we share a common vision of financial goals: saving for a house and getting student loans paid down, plus investing for retirement, etc. These goals outweigh the short-term, more inpulse purchases. There just aren't a lot of things that we each want now that would fall into the personal perks category; we just try to keep a focus on the big picture. If we do see something that is an impulse buy, we try to wait a day or two to see if we still really
"...I personally believe that when you get married, you are joining yourselves and your money for life, and both partners have a responsibility to the other to keep their spending in check."
need it. And plus we're anxious to start more DRIPs. That helps curb the spending because you realize "Gee, I could buy a couple of pairs of shoes or I could send $100 to my DRIP this month instead". Well, insert your impulse purchase for shoes and you get the idea.

I think that money is definitely one of the biggest issues in a marriage. I personally believe that when you get married, you are joining yourselves and your money for life, and both partners have a responsibility to the other to keep their spending in check. When one partner vastly outspends the other on personal goodies, I think it has way more to do with trying to control the marriage than it does a desire to obtain more junk from the mall. I love that my
"When one partner vastly outspends the other on personal goodies, I think it has way more to do with trying to control the marriage than it does a desire to obtain more junk from the mall."
husband and I are on the same wavelength when it comes to money, and that we can discuss investments and spending with planning and excitement, not a fight. Maybe it's a little pathetic, but I'd go so far as to say that financial planning with my hubby is romantic; I mean, what could beat planning a comfortable, happy future with the man I love? Setting goals and making a plan to get there are what it's all about.

So to sum it up, my advice is to make goals together and stick to it. When you're tempted with an impulse buy, think about it for at least a day or two before you get it (you probably won't even want it anymore). As far as personal perks, I think they should be agreed upon together. I realize that people need "stuff" every once in a while, just curb what you think you need.