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Political Ducklings?

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By UnexplodedDuck
July 24, 2003

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Political Ducklings?


Typically during suppertime, we have the TV in the kitchen on and on PBS, they usually broadcast a public service announcement from Laura Bush, extolling the virtues of reading to your children. Which is always a good thing. But one knight, as Duckling2 (3 years old) was stuffing his face full of Cheez-Its, Duckling1 (5 years old) wrinkled her nose with an inquisitive look and asked, "Who is she, anyway?"

Duck: She's the President's wife.
D1: The pwesident's wife? What's the "pwesident"?
D2: COW?
Duck: You remember when I was changing channels on the TV, there was a short guy in a dark suit and big ears talking?
D1: Mickey Mouse?
Duck: No, no, no. A MAN with a dark suit.
D2: SPPPT!
Duck: Yeah, him!
D1: Dat guy who was talking and had lots of sad people standing next to him?
Duck: Um, yeah. Sad people? Oh, the secret service agents! They ALWAYS look like that.
D1: Seekwit serbiss?
D2: COW?
Duck: They protect the president.
D1: Pwotect? From what?
Duck: Ummm...mean people. People who stick out their tongues at him or who don't like him and might hurt him.
D1: Who would do dat?
Duck: Democrats.
D2: SPPPT! Hillawee!
D1: What does da pwesident do?
Duck: He runs the whole country, he's in charge of everything.
D1: Oh. Is he a good man?
Duck: Ummm...some people think he is, some don't.
D2: IP-peach! COW! IP-peach! MOO!
D1: Why don't evewybody wike him?
Duck: Well, first of all, this guy won't be the president forever, they uh...er...take turns!
D1: Take turns! Cool. Can I have a turn?
Duck: Ummm...no, you got to be REAL old. Thirty-five years old, in fact.
D1: Aren't you DEAD by then?
Duck: It's not THAT old.
D2: COW? THURRRRRMOND?
D1: How do day take turns?
Duck: They vote. Every four years, we vote on who gets to run the country....except last time.
D1: Huh?
D2: CHAD! COW! CHAD!
Duck: Everybody wants to run the country a different way. So we have groups called "parties" and each party has a set of rules on how THEY want to run the country.
D1: Party? Wike a birfday party?
D2: COW! NADER! GWEEN!!!
Duck: Sort of, except there's no cake....at least at the Republican party.
D1: Ohh... Well is da pwesident a good guy?
Duck: Well, he does things I think is good for the country and some things that are bad.
D2: HOWIBURTON! COW! OPEK!!!
D1: Wike what?
Duck: He helps makes companies like the ones Mommy and I work at rich by giving them special rules. They also make it cheap for Grammi to buy gas for her truck.
D1: Dat's good.
Duck: Well, but he also has rules about other things that makes rivers and lakes dirty and makes other mommies and daddies lose their jobs.
D1: Dat's bad.
D2: NAFFFFFTA! SPPPT!
Duck: And he sent thousands of soldiers to a faraway country so that bad men over there can't hurt us and we can buy more cheap gas for Grammi's truck.
D1: Dat's good.
Duck: No, that's bad. Our soldiers are getting hurt and we now know the bad men over there don't have anything to hurt us with anyway.
D1: Dat's bad.
Duck: No, that's good. We got rid of most of the bad men.
D1: Dat's good.
Duck: No, that's bad.
D1: Huh?
Duck: Oh, well. The president tries to do good things, but things don't always turn out good.
D1: Howz dat?
Duck: Remember the week I bought you the sandbox?
D1: Yeah. Dat was nice!
Duck: That's because we got extra money from the president. What he did was "lower taxes".
D1: He IS a nice man.
Duck: But he also makes rules that says people can come down and chop down trees and scare away the bunnies and the raccoons, makes Grammi's medicine more expensive so she can't buy you candy, and makes other mommies and daddies lose their jobs so they can't get money to buy ice cream for their kids and...
D1: He sucks.
D2: DEAN! COW!
Duck: Like I said, the president tries to do the right thing.
D1: Who was president before?
Duck: Another guy, but he was taller. He was friendly with everybody, but didn't make a lot of rules. He didn't get another turn because he already had two turns. And he made some girls mad.
D2: HUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!! BOOTY COW!
D1: Oh.
Duck: But the guy who is president now won't be president forever. Somebody else will get elected.
D1: Oh, okay. Dat's better.
Duck: Maybe YOU might want to be president some day?
D1: Yeah!
Duck: What would you do if you were president?
D1: Make evewybody take a NAP.
D2: IPP-PEACH!


Copyright 2003, www.misterduck.net


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