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Re: Sears Earnings

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By howardroark
January 11, 2007

Posts selected for this feature rarely stand alone. They are usually a part of an ongoing thread, and are out of context when presented here. The material should be read in that light. How are these posts selected? Click here to find out and nominate a post yourself!

Here is the 3rd most popular song of the eighties via the top 10 list I pulled up, remade to reflect my recommendation to all the readers of this board (insert disclaimers here) Would definitely like to see other's renditions of popular 80s hits if they want to outdo my take

Nicely done! That may be the fastest payoff in creative wagering history. Here is my offer. I admit this isn't an 80s song, but since I didn't lose I figured I could play fast and loose with the rules. In case you are as tonally challenged as I am such that you have trouble singing Happy Birthday to yourself if the AC is on in the background, I am attaching a link to the song. Note that I didn't quite make it through the whole song as it's ridiculously long and I ran out of time.

http://boogle.imeem.com/music/mLJ-YF-j/american_pie/

A long-long time ago
I can still remember
How those leases used to make him smile
And he knew if he had his chance
That he could put lenders in a trance
And Marty would just marvel at his guile

But Michigan did make him shiver
With every comp that it delivered
Burkle's on the doorstep
The Feds took Martha Stewart's pep

I can't remember if I cried
When he kicked old owners to the side
But something touched me deep inside
The day the Blue Light died

So bye-bye One and Twenty fee guy
Ditched some cheap stocks for a big box
Where the profits were dry
And the customers kissed triple coupons good-bye
Singin' this'll be the day that they die
This'll be the day I buy high

Did you worship same store sales?
And do you obsess on stock cert fails,
If bloggers tell you so?
Do you believe in capex spend,
Can markdowns save a fading trend,
And would you build a bad store just to grow?

Well if so then you were not for him
And I bet severance was pretty slim
Those pink slips leave a bruise
Why did Day have to give the news??

But the new shareholders had better luck
This Goldman grad knew how to make a buck
Even Rain Man knew it didn't suck...
The day the Blue Light died

They started singin'
Bye-bye One and Twenty fee guy
Ditched some cheap stocks for a big box
Where the profits were dry
And the customers kissed triple coupons good-bye
Singin' this'll be the day that they die
This'll be the day I buy high

Now for two years, he'd been on his own
But he was scheming for a retail throne
And KMRT became history
When Chicago heard the news it cried,
What will happen to our Softer Side,
Will he sell all of our stores to Nardelli?

Oh, and while Lacy was getting paid
It was Lewis who would make the grade
The Troy digs were adjourned
The arbs earned their return
And while Buffett read up on the Baht
He learned which SKUs were shot
While Wall Street tried to guess the plot
The day the Blue Light died

They were singin'
Bye-bye One and Twenty fee guy
Ditched some cheap stocks for a big box
Where the profits were dry
And the customers kissed triple coupons good-bye
Singin' this'll be the day that they die
This'll be the day I buy high

Helter skelter in a summer swelter
The shorts scrambled to find some shelter
$150 a share and rising fast
There were few who dared cross his path
Well Footstar tried but brought his wrath
The days of easy dealing were long past

Now the winter came and brought some gloom
As the comps would not relent their swoon
Lee Scott got up to dance
Oh, but he never got the chance!
'Cause the Sears promos were then repealed
The capex coffers tightly sealed
Do you recall the cash flow yield?
The day the Blue Light died

They started singin'
Bye-bye One and Twenty fee guy
Ditched some cheap stocks for a big box
Where the profits were dry
And the customers kissed triple coupons good-bye
Singin' this'll be the day that they die
This'll be the day I buy high...


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