Wake up, sleepyhead! It's once again time to break your fast with the Fool. Helga will have the omelettes ready in a jiff. While she's giving them a final simmer, pour yourself a cup of joe, and let's sit down and skim the morning paper.

Taxing the alphabet
Is there any better way to start the day than with a steaming cup of demagoguery? Today's headlines tell us Congress will tax bonuses paid to employees of bailout recipients and alphabet instruction tools AIG (NYSE:AIG) and B of A (NYSE:BAC) And not with President Obama's multimillionaire-friendly top rate of 39.6% either, folks -- Congress wants 90% of the loot, and expects states and localities to sop up the final 10.

"We want our money back now for the taxpayers," explained House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. "It isn't that complicated." 

Unleash the lawyers
Tax time is stressful, but not as stressful as a lawsuit. Unrelated to the new law, but related to the crisis that spawned it, AIG is suing Bank of America for fraud, negligence, and other complaints related to mortgages AIG insured for B of A's acquisition of Countrywide. Says AIG, Countrywide "abandoned its own underwriting guidelines ... and ... misrepresented the quality of its loans."

In other CourtTV news, OSI Pharmaceuticals demands that Teva Pharmaceutical Industries (NASDAQ:TEVA) and Mylan (NYSE:MYL) be banned from selling their generic version of cancer pill Tarceva, alleging it infringes on three OSI patents. If unsuccessful, OSI will face direct competition for its $457 million in 2008 U.S.-only Tarceva sales -- and that could affect its goal of reaching the $2 billion mark in worldwide sales it envisions hitting in 2011.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the economy ...
... things are looking grim. Xerox just cut first-quarter guidance by 80%, citing a decline in corporate tech spending. Sony (NYSE:SNE) / Ericsson joint venture Sony-Ericsson is looking for approximately a $500 million pre-tax loss, blaming lower consumer spending. Between the two, a Fool can wonder if there's anyone left to spend.

The euro rises in the east
Before we send you off to the workday, here's one final bit of news -- perhaps the most crucial of all to today's trading. Across the pond, the euro hit a new high today, up a total of 9.7% against the U.S. dollar from its low of late November. What's it mean to you? Depends on what stocks you own. If, like most of us, you're primarily invested in the U.S., but perhaps in a company with large overseas operations like Coca-Cola (NYSE:KO) or McDonald's (NYSE:MCD), it means this:

Profits earned in foreign currency, once repatriated to our shores, will buy more greenbacks -- increasing U.S. dollar profits and generally doing nothing but good things for the U.S. export industry. Send your thank-you notes to:

B. Bernanke,
U.S. Department of Printing Lotsa Money

And Fool on!

Fool contributor Rich Smith does not own shares of any company named above, but Coca-Cola is a Motley Fool Inside Value recommendation. The Motley Fool has a disclosure policy.