4 Tips for Splitting Expenses if One Partner Makes More

If you and your partner are not combining finances and paying for things out of a joint checking account, you'll need to come up with a plan for how to share expenses. This can be tricky under the best of circumstances, but becomes even more complicated if one of you makes significantly more money than the other.

To make sure you're on the same page about how you'll pay shared expenses -- and to reduce the chance of money fights over credit card debt or other costs -- consider these tips to come up with a plan for splitting up costs.

1. Have an open discussion

Talking about money can be touchy, especially when there is an income disparity. But, it's crucial to make your relationship work. And, you need to make absolutely sure you are 100% open and honest in your discussion -- especially since close to half of all respondents to a recent survey indicated they believe financial dishonesty is a type of infidelity.

To facilitate a useful discussion about how you'll split expenses, set aside a time to have a discussion and be sure your partner isn't blindsided. You can each come prepared with some proposals about how you think it's best to split up your costs -- and should also be ready to discuss the reasoning behind your desires.

When you have the discussion, remember that the goal is to find compromise -- not for either of you to "win." You don't want to place blame or dismiss your partner's thoughts. Since splitting expenses is likely to be an ongoing issue for the entire time you're together, you really need to find something you can both be happy with.

2. Split expenses fairly, not necessarily equally

While it's up to each couple to decide what works for them, it usually doesn't make sense for couples to split things 50/50 when there is a big earning disparity. Trying to take this approach is likely to lead to resentment on the part of both parties, with the lower earner potentially feeling cash-strapped and the higher earner feeling constrained or like they're missing out because they can't afford to do things if their partner can't split the bill.

For many people, a good option is to figure out what percentage of combined income each person earns and then have each person pay that percentage of your expenses. For example, if you make $20,000 and your partner makes $80,000, you could pay 20% of shared expenses while your partner pays 80%.

While this arrangement may not seem perfect to you, you should try to work together to think about what is actually fair to both of you so you can find a system that allows you to do things you want without placing too large a burden on either partner.

3. Re-evaluate as your life circumstances change

When you decide how to split expenses, it's also important to realize you may need to change things over time. If one of you changes careers, goes back to school, or experiences another big life shift -- or if you have children together -- you may need an entirely different approach.

Schedule regular times to revisit your plan for sharing costs and make time to re-evaluate after any big upheaval so you can make sure your arrangement continues to work.

4. Make sure joint financial goals make sense for both of you

Finally, think about what goals you'll work towards together and share costs on, and what you'll keep separate. For example, if you're buying a house together, it makes sense that saving the down payment would be a joint goal you'd both work towards and that you'd share the expenses of that house. But if the higher-earner wants a fancy sports car that only they will drive, it may not make sense to split expenses related to that vehicle.

By implementing these tips, you may be able to find a system that allows you to share your money in a way that makes sense and lets you accomplish big financial goals together as a team.