Wouldn't you be surprised to discover you're dead, especially if the news came from your loan officer? A 30-year-old Detroit man who made national news certainly was. His alleged deceased status was the one snafu on his credit report keeping him from getting a new car loan.

Few credit dings are as devastating as that one. Still, credit reports may contain some inaccuracies. We're talking about flat-out wrong information -- not even those self-inflicted credit wounds that everyone tries to deny.

Here's how to spot credit blemishes and make them go away.

From scrapes to gashes

There are two kinds of credit report blunders -- information that's outright inaccurate, and boo-boos that reflect the errors of your ways. In either instance, the best way to approach the cleanup process is to start with the source, which, in most instances, is listed right there on your credit report.

In the very-much-alive Detroit man's case, it was an input error at the Social Security Administration that led to false claims of his demise. Other credit reporting errors can include accounts mistakenly attributed to you; application notices that you didn't fill out, and out-of-date home address or employment information. Errors can also include omissions, such as the presence of a delinquency that you've already remedied, or an old collection action that is still being reported as overdue.

With a little diligence on your part, such inaccuracies can be updated or removed from your record relatively quickly. (Just follow our six steps to disputing inaccuracies below.) Under the Fair Credit Reporting Act, credit bureaus are required to investigate your claim within 30 days. If it determines that an error has been made, it must correct the boo-boo and notify the other credit bureaus and you (with a free report).

Accurate negative information -- the stuff that's from your own doing, such as late payments and not calling your mother back promptly -- generally stays on your report for seven years, with a few exceptions, according to the Federal Consumer Information Center:

• Information about criminal convictions may be reported without any time limitation.
• Bankruptcy information can follow you around for 10 years.
• Credit information reported in response to an application for a job with a salary of more than $75,000 has no time limit.
• When you apply for credit or life insurance in the amount of $150,000 or more, any credit information reported at that time has no time limit.
• Information about a lawsuit or an unpaid judgment against you can be reported for seven years or until the statute of limitations runs out, whichever is longer.

Be your own debt doctor

With so much of your financial life riding on your credit record -- and so much that can go wrong with it -- it's not surprising that a number of people want to help you "fix" your credit. Trust us, they're not doing it out of the goodness of their own hearts. Consumers get scammed out of millions of dollars a year by so-called "credit repair clinics" or "debt Dr. Evils," as we call them here at the Fool.

If you're looking for the magic bullet -- the one sure-fire way to clean up your credit record -- you've come to the right place. Here are the two key ingredients to improving your creditworthiness (brace yourself):

1. Time.
2. The responsible use of credit.

That's it. Nothing else will make you squeaky clean in the eyes of the lending world. Not your Platinum card. Not doing more volunteer work. Not even calling your mother more often (unless she happens to head up a major credit bureau).

When someone tells you they can wipe your credit record clean, they're lying. Or worse, they're telling the truth but using an illegal method to deliver on the promise. Methods can include creating fraudulent identities, producing false documents, and even making false claims to you about what they can do.

It may sound dull, but to heal your past credit abuses, simply pay your bills on time and demonstrate responsible credit management. The good news is that you have as much leverage with the credit bureaus as anyone out there. And there's no safer and more effective option than helping yourself get on the road to good credit.

Four steps to mending your errant ways

1. Start with the source. Since the three major credit bureaus (Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion) all have slightly different information about you, you need to order your credit report from all three bureaus. Each individual report will cost you about $9 (that fee does not include your credit score).

2. Determine what you owe and to whom. This is easy to do once you have your credit reports in front of you. Most of your creditors should be listed on your report. But remember, not all of them will be. Store credit cards, gas cards, and other small loans aren't always reported to the credit bureaus.

3. Catch up on payments. If there are any past due accounts, contact the creditor directly and let them know that you're ready to make amends. If you are unable to pay even the minimum amount on all of your accounts, you will need to look for ways to cut back in other areas of your spending. Lenders want to get re-paid -- no matter how little you owe. We offer an entire Get Out of Debt online seminar (for free!) that will walk you through this trying time step-by-step.

4. Set a good example for your lenders. If lack of credit is one of the reasons your score is low, apply for a small loan from your bank, and make regular, on-time payments until the loan is paid off in full. You'll be exhibiting responsible credit behavior, which can go a long way in helping you build a better credit history. If you can't get a loan, consider applying for a secured credit card. With a secured credit card, you deposit some money with a lender and use that as collateral for your purchases. Again, make sure to pay the bill on time (and in full) every month.

Nothing in this credit re-building plan is rocket science. And it's certainly a plan you can implement yourself without the help of an expensive credit repair program. Again, diligent and disciplined saving and bill-paying will, in time, turn your credit history around.

Six steps to disputing a credit report boo-boo

Taking on credit reporting inaccuracies is an entirely different matter. If you wish to dispute an item on your credit report that you feel is flat-out wrong, you can do so for free. When you contact the credit reporting company, they will investigate the dispute and, if applicable, issue you a revised credit report for free.

1. Start a record. Every step of the way, be sure to keep good records of all of your phone conversations and copies of each letter/e-mail/carrier-pigeon missive you send. Send all letters via certified mail (return receipt requested), and be sure to include copies of any documentation (such as an account statement that shows an account paid in full) that supports your claim. Also be sure to tell the credit bureau exactly what you want them to do -- whether it is to delete a false item completely or update an old entry.

2. Inform the credit reporting agency (Equifax, Experian, or TransUnion), and tell them what information you believe is inaccurate. Check out the Federal Consumer Information Center sample dispute letter. The FCIC suggests that you enclose a copy of your report with the items in question circled.

Within 30 days, the credit reporting agency will reinvestigate the items in question. They will forward all relevant data you provide about the dispute to the "information provider" (a lender, creditor, or other business that reported the inaccurate information). The creditor is then required by law to investigate your complaint and report its findings. Here are a few possible scenarios:

• Disputed information that cannot be verified must be deleted from your file.
• If your report contains erroneous information, the credit reporting agency must correct it.
• If an item is incomplete, the credit reporting agency must complete it. For example, if your file showed that you were late making payments, but failed to show that you were no longer delinquent, the credit reporting agency must show that you're current.
• If your file shows an account that belongs only to another person, the credit reporting agency must delete it.

If the disputed information turns out to be inaccurate, the creditor must notify all nationwide credit reporting agencies, so they all can correct the information in your file.

3. Inform the business that sent the erroneous information of your dispute. Now that you've honed your letter-writing skills, let the creditor (or other information provider) know in writing that you are disputing an item it put on your report. You want to include communications with the credit bureau as part of the documentation trail, but the source of the problem is your best bet for successful resolution. Use any leverage you might have as an ongoing customer of the offending business.

4. Get the good stuff put into your file. If you've been told you were denied credit because of an "insufficient credit file" or "no credit file," take your pulse. If you're alive, and have accounts with creditors that don't appear in your credit file, you can ask the credit agencies to add this information to future reports. They are not required to do so, but if you ask nicely and they can verify the accounts, most will add them to your report for a fee.

5. Celebrate victory! If your dispute results in a change to your credit report, the credit bureau will give you the written results and a free copy of your report. While this marks the end of most disputes, be aware that the information can show up again. That will only occur if the creditor verifies the disputed item's accuracy and completeness. If that happens, you'll receive notice from the credit bureau and you can take it from there. Again.

6. Accept defeat -- but make sure you get in the last word. If you are unsuccessful in removing information from your credit file and reach an impasse, you always have the legal right to attach a letter of explanation to your credit file. Be sure to cover all three of the major credit bureaus as well as the offending business. The business is obligated to include your letter in any future input to the credit bureaus. Verify that they do.

Next up: Identity Theft