Borat provides viewers with a silly yet poignantly truthful look at some of the behavioral phenomena of American culture, and human nature in general. What follows is a Borat-inspired screenplay about the year of 2006 in capital markets. Here are some excerpts (if you don't remember the specific Borat quote I'm using, you can find it here).

Scene: Here, Borat is played by a private equity associate, whose firm just raised a $4 billion fund. If he can't find somewhere to invest the money, they'll have to return it to investors.

Borat (to target acquisition): My managing director send me to make leveraged buyout. Please, accept my bid. If is not successful, I will not receive 2 and 20% management fee or bonus!

Conclusion: The target company understands the private equity analyst's dire situation, and willingly complies. $33 and $16.7 billion dollar buyouts of HCA and Harrah's (NYSE:HET) ensue.

Scene: Borat, played by former Refco executive Phillip Bennett, is working with a humor coach.

Borat: I don't owe Refco $430 million.... NOT!!

Conclusion: Bennett does owe Refco $430 million, Refco goes bankrupt, and Bennett faces fraud charges.

Scene: Borat, played by the Nasdaq (NASDAQ:NDAQ) chief executive Robert Greifeld, sees a tantalizing acquisition target, the London Stock Exchange. Hooking up with it would instantly confer prestige upon Nasdaq, as well as synergies and stock-listing cross-selling opportunities.

Borat: Look, there is the London Stock exchange! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy merger with her?

London Stock Exchange: No, no, no, no, no, no!

Borat: A-why not?

London Stock Exchange: Because a firm has the right to choose who she has sexy merger with.

Borat: [stunned] WHAT?... You joke?

London Stock Exchange: It must be consensual. How 'bout that?

Borat: Ahahahahaha!

London Stock Exchange: That's good, huh?

Borat: Is not good for me.

Conclusion: The Nasdaq, after making a hostile bid, a tender offer, and a revised tender offer, all spurned, continues its pursuit of the London Stock Exchange into 2007. Stay tuned to see if the Nasdaq can win the LSE's heart.

Scene: Here, Borat, played by Henry Kravis (the second K in KKR), talks about competing private equity firm Apollo.

Borat: He is my neighbor, Apollo. He is pain in my [gluteus maximus]. I raise fund on NYSE exchange, he must raise his fund on Nasdaq. I list on the Euronext, he must list on the Euronext. I raise $16 billion fund, he cannot afford. Great success!

Scene: In this scene, Borat is played by Bob Iger, CEO of Disney (NYSE:DIS). Previously, Pixar CEO Steve Jobs and former Disney CEO Michael Eisner had fiercely clashed over Disney and Pixar's distribution deal. It is believed Iger was promoted to facilitate the Pixar/Disney relationship.

Borat: You are my friend?

Steve Jobs: You're a nice young man and, yes, I am your friend.

Borat: You be my subsidiary?

Steve Jobs: No, I won't be your subsidiary.

Borat: Why not?

Steve Jobs: OK, yeah, I guess I can be your subsidiary.

Conclusion: The two firms finally get together after years of disputes. The merger closes about a year after Eisner resigns from Disney.

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Fool contributor Emil Lee is an analyst and a disciple of value investing. He doesn't own shares in any of the companies mentioned above. Emil appreciates comments, concerns, and complaints. The Motley Fool has a disclosure policy.