Capital Punishment: GoDaddy for Sale

In today's comic strip, we take aim at the hard-selling bad boys and girls of GoDaddy, the popular Internet service provider that, according to The Wall Street Journal, has just put itself up for sale. The Fool's Anders Bylund recently speculated on some possible suitors, including Google (Nasdaq: GOOG  ) , Cisco (Nasdaq: CSCO  ) , and Amazon (Nasdaq: AMZN  ) .

These are all legitimate candidates, but having spent … er … wasted a small fortune on buying cool but ultimately worthless domain names for years, I became all too familiar with the downright comedic splash pages that hit viewers like a two-by-four just after you click to make a purchase on GoDaddy. These pages furiously try to up-sell Web surfers and have the vibe of a night-alley prowler whipping open his raincoat. And, of course, we all know the naughty, nudie girl tactics the company uses to hawk their wares, most notably during the Super Bowl.

So, here are my suggestions for companies that might acquire GoDaddy:

Playboy Enterprises (NYSE: PLA  ) has been struggling for years to adjust to the new media revolution. GoDaddy's badboy brand is a critical part of its business. It's a match made in Heaven, or the redder, hotter, more wrong place to spend eternity. Where would Playboy get the money to purchase a billion-dollar company? Why, from the same bank Blockbuster was going to use to purchase Circuit City, of course. I forget the name but think it's headquartered on Fantasy Island.

eBay (Nasdaq: EBAY  ) . Remember when registering a domain name cost a mere $5.99? And for no conceivable reason the price kept going up? Well, no company in America symbolizes the we-raise-fees-because-we-can ethos than eBay. With GoDaddy now hawking domain names at $11.99, eBaby must be drooling.

Wynn Resorts (Nasdaq: WYNN  ) . Think of the synergies! You could have a GoDaddy girl naughty dance revue, GoDaddy girl escort services, and other products we can't mention on our family friendly site. And get a load of this: What if every time you bought a domain name, you could pay an extra five bucks to have spinning fruit appear on the screen?

Which company do you think should purchase GoDaddy? And remember, it's OK to have fun. The Fool's mission is to educate, AMUSE, and enrich. Leave your idea below.

Fool contributor Daniel Joshua Rubin does not own shares in any of the companies mentioned. Google is a Motley Fool Inside Value choice. Google is a Motley Fool Rule Breakers recommendation. Amazon.com and eBay are Motley Fool Stock Advisor picks. The Fool has written calls (Bull Call Spread) on Cisco Systems. Motley Fool Options has recommended a bull call spread position on eBay. The Fool owns shares of Google. True to its name, The Motley Fool is made up of a motley assortment of writers and analysts, each with a unique perspective; sometimes we agree, sometimes we disagree, but we all believe in the power of learning from each other through our Foolish community. The Motley Fool has a disclosure policy.


Read/Post Comments (4) | Recommend This Article (24)

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  • Report this Comment On September 22, 2010, at 2:23 PM, Pick1es wrote:

    I like godaddy, atleast they don't automatically have options pre selected when you checkout. They also have great specials. I just bought a domain for my new business for 99 cents for the first year. I was going to transfer to a differnt web host until they offered me a 20% discount for this service. very nice if you ask me.

  • Report this Comment On September 22, 2010, at 2:25 PM, Pick1es wrote:

    but i still feel awkward buying computer based products while there are girls in bikinis on the home page. Their advertising department is filled with idiots in my opinion.

  • Report this Comment On September 22, 2010, at 2:45 PM, BroadwayDan wrote:

    fearandbullets - agree on both fronts. My experience with customer service was always fine and they do a good enough job. But the price hikes and goofball nudie women are ridiculous. Gotta give Parsons his props though - he'll earn a billion or so and on some level, money talks. His plan worked.

  • Report this Comment On October 29, 2010, at 1:33 AM, thisismythought wrote:

    What if all three Google,Cisco,Amazon joint Ventured on this purchase. Google has the trafic, Amazon has the buyers, cisco the technology. they all have gazillion visitors. they cross sale. Godaddy becomes a 10 billion dollar company

    Just a thought.

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