You'd better hope your true love has some deep pockets. If he (or she) decided to give you the entire litany of gifts listed in the song "The 12 Days of Christmas" --  everything from a partridge in a pear tree to a dozen drummers -- it would cost, by one estimate, $78,100.

But who really wants a houseful of pipers, drummers, and dancers, anyway? Does anyone really have the space for a flock of hens, doves, calling birds, and a partridge? Tell your true love what you really want for Christmas this year. Here's my list:

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: A mortgage with a fixed rate.

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Two savings bonds and a mortgage with a fixed rate.

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Three dividend stocks, two savings bonds, and a mortgage with a fixed rate.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Four IRAs, three dividends, two savings bonds, and a mortgage with a fixed rate.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Five gold bars, four IRAs, three dividends, two savings bonds, and a mortgage with a fixed rate.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Six stocks a-soaring, five gold bars, four IRAs, three dividends, two savings bonds, and a mortgage with a fixed rate.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Seven index fund shares, six stocks a-soaring, five gold bars, four IRAs, three dividends, two savings bonds, and a mortgage with a fixed rate.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Eight months of e-funds, seven index fund shares, six stocks a-soaring, five gold bars, four IRAs, three dividends, two savings bonds, and a mortgage with a fixed rate.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Nine tax deductions, eight months of e-funds, seven index fund shares, six stocks a-soaring, five gold bars, four IRAs, three dividends, two savings bonds, and a mortgage with a fixed rate.

On the 10th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 10% matching, nine tax deductions, eight months of e-funds, seven index fund shares, six stocks a-soaring, five gold bars, four IRAs, three dividends, two savings bonds, and a mortgage with a fixed rate.

On the 11th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 11 CD ladders, 10% matching, nine tax deductions, eight months of e-funds, seven index fund shares, six stocks a-soaring, five gold bars, four IRAs, three dividends, two savings bonds, and a mortgage with a fixed rate.

On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 12 Berkshire A-shares, 11 CD ladders, 10% matching, nine tax deductions, eight months of e-funds, seven index fund shares, six stocks a-soaring, five gold bars, four IRAs, three dividends, two savings bonds, and a mortgage with a fixed rate.