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Microsoft (Nasdaq: MSFT), make up your mind! Is the iLoo a hoax? Is it real, but now shelved? Will Britons be denied their chance to check email when nature calls? Say it ain't so, Steve (Ballmer). It's hard to know what to believe, following what has to be one of the biggest and funniest corporate public relations nightmares ever. For nearly two weeks, the press and pundits have been yukking it up about Microsoft MSN UK's just-announced portable public toilet with wireless Internet capabilities. The WiFi potties were to be unveiled this summer, at music festivals in Britain. One could just imagine concertgoers, sweaty and beer-soaked, feeling compelled to log on before heading back out into the crowd. Puns have been abundant, jokes have run rampant, and most of the reactions to the news registered somewhere between eww and ewwwww. It seemed from the start like something cooked up by those hilarious folks at TheOnion.com. Then, late Monday, Microsoft confirmed that, alas, the iLoo was a joke. It was but a hoax perpetrated by those nutty Brits. News reports on the iLoo were retracted as the word spread. But wait, Microsoft wasn't done yet. Late yesterday, it confirmed that the iLoo really was an idea in the works at MSN UK, but based on everyone's grossed-out reactions, the bigwigs in Redmond decided to kill it. Microsoft allows its global divisions to create products tailored for their local audiences, and apparently that's what happened here. That is until someone at corporate headquarters quashed it. A spokesperson was quoted as saying that the iLoo "wasn't the best extension of our brand." Gee, ya think? Whether you think the iLoo's a super idea, or the sickest thing you've heard in a long time, one thing can't be denied: Microsoft has some corporate communications problems. It's not surprising given its enormity, but still, if something as trivial as this can trip up the whole PR process, that's sad. And ridiculous. If anything's to be learned from this mess, it's that Microsoft needs to spend some time fixing whatever's wrong with its PR department -- before it embarrasses itself again. LouAnn Lofton owns shares of Microsoft. For the record, upon reading about the iLoo, she said, "Ewwwwwww, gross."
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