The Motley Fool Pushes CEO Bill of Rights Legislation

Mr. Nordella of Georgia (for himself, Mr. Jabs, Ms. Foirino, Mr. Dillore, Mr. Semul, and Mr. Mazilo) introduced the following bill, which was referred to the Committee on Financial Services.

A BILL

To declare a CEO Bill of Rights in order to promote and protect America's most valuable human resource.

Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled,

SECTION 1. SHORT TITLE.

This Act may be cited as the "CEO Bill of Rights Act of 2007."

SECTION 2. FINDINGS.

The Congress finds the following:

1. (1) Talented and qualified Chief Executives are vital to the economic health of the union;
2. (2) Recent events, including but not limited to excessive regulation, unfair policies, and unduly harsh criticism, have hampered the ability of these CEOs to perform their duties for the good of the American public.

SECTION 3. ACTION TO SELECT AND SAFEGUARD ESSENTIAL TALENT (A.S.S.E.T.)

WHEREAS  healthy corporations are vital to the progress of the American state;

WHEREAS the Chief Executive Officer is the most vital individual in any corporate environment;

Therefore, the purpose of this section is to ensure that the position of CEO should rightly be restricted to those with adequate qualifications.

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SECTION 4. FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE TO IRREPLACEABLE RESOURCES (F.A.I.R.)

WHEREAS  the Chief Executive Officer is a vital human resource and a prime contributor to the health of the nation's economy;

WHEREAS  competitive compensation ensures stewardship from corporate leadership and promotes innovation;

WHEREAS  academic study has proved that individuals are best rewarded by compensation that is not only high in absolute terms, but also greatly exceeds that of their peers, in relative terms;

Therefore, the purpose of this section is to ensure just and rational compensation for America's Chief Executive Officers by means of a minimum wage constituting total compensation of no less than 800 times that of the average worker.

Read The Motley Fool commentary Section 4

SECTION 5. PROTECTION FROM UNFAIR RESTRICTION OF KEY SUBSIDIES (P.U.R.K.S.)

WHEREAS  financial and non-financial benefits are a necessary lubricant for the engine of capitalism;

WHEREAS  cash salary and stock-based compensation alone cannot retain top-flight executive management;

Therefore, the purpose of this section is to prohibit the unlawful restriction of perquisites.

Read The Motley Fool commentary on Section 5

SECTION 6. MINIMUM EXPECTATIONS FOR RETENTION AND INDEMNITY OF TALENT (M.E.R.I.T.)

WHEREAS  economic strength and confidence depend on fair and equitable treatment of the employed;

WHEREAS  Chief Executive Officers constitute the most important members of the employed classes;

Therefore, the purpose of this section is to ensure that Chief Executive Officers be entitled to greater job security commensurate with their elevated importance to American progress.

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SECTION 7. PRESS ACCOUNTABILITY, TRANSPARENCY, RESPECT, AND INSTITUTION OF OPTIMISTIC, TASTEFUL, AND INNOVATIVE CRITICISM (P.A.T.R.I.O.T.I.C.)

WHEREAS   criticism of Chief Executive Officers can cause downward pressure on the price of related equities;

WHEREAS   the increase in equity prices is of vital importance to the economic welfare of the United States;

Therefore, the purpose of this section is to protect Chief Executive Officers from undue criticism by any natural person or entity.

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SECTION 8. BACKDATING ACTION FOR RELIEF AND FAIRNESS

WHEREAS  excessive options-backdating scandals have unduly hindered the ability of Chief Executive Officers to fulfill their duties;

WHEREAS  options-backdating scandals have exerted undue stress on our financial markets, namely by forcing down the prices of certain equities;

WHEREAS  increases in equity prices are of vital importance to the economic welfare of the United States;

Therefore, the purpose of this section is to allow that Chief Executive Officers be exempted from all legal or financial responsibility for backdated options, so long as they are not shown to have been aware of the accounting implications.

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SECTION 9. WAIVING ACCOUNTABILITY FOR FAIRNESS IN FINANCIAL LIABILITY EDICTS

WHEREAS  American enterprises commonly comprise thousands of individual employees;

WHEREAS  knowing the capabilities, conduct, and character of such number of employees is an insurmountable task;

Therefore, the purpose of this section is to allow that Chief Executive Officers be exempted from responsibility for material errors and weaknesses in their financial reporting, up to and including fraud, so long as said officers can claim that someone else was responsible for such shortcomings, misstatements, or frauds.

Read The Motley Fool commentary on Section 9