Top 5 Market Malfunctions

Welcome to the Daily 5, our lighthearted look at the business news that amuses us.

A federal court yesterday tossed out a $550,000 fine for indecency levied against CBS (NYSE: CBS  ) for a too-sexy performance of "Rock Your Body" by Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake during the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show.

To commemorate the return of this infamous "wardrobe malfunction" to the headlines, we give you a list of the five most outrageous "market malfunctions" of the past week. Drumroll, please:

5. Regulators who stiff-arm short-sellers and, in the process, kill satire.

4. CEOs who pay millions in protection money. Literally.

3. Quasi-government agencies that treat accounting like a game of Monopoly.

2. The New York senator who can't keep his freaking mouth shut.

And the No. 1 market malfunction that's still creeping us out ... rich suitors who just don't know when to go away. (Yes, Microsoft (Nasdaq: MSFT  ) , we mean you.)

And today's top threat: Bears
It's tough to be an investor right now. The bear is biting. Banks are failing. Techies are tumbling. What hope is there when not even Apple (Nasdaq: AAPL  ) can please the Street?

Take heart, Fool. Even though stocks are being thrown away like trash, there's little reason for excellent businesses such as VMware (NYSE: VMW  ) and Coca-Cola (NYSE: KO  ) to be trading near 52-week lows. Seek to buy while the bargains are fresh.

See anything we missed? Have a different take? Post your thoughts in the comments box below. And then, when you're done, get your clicks with related Foolishness:

Neither Tim Beyers nor Dayana Yochim owned shares in any of the companies mentioned at the time of publication.

Apple is a Stock Advisor selection. Coca-Cola and Microsoft are Inside Value picks. VMware is a Rule Breakers recommendation. Try any of these market-beating services free for 30 days. There's no obligation to subscribe.

The Motley Fool's disclosure policy has witnessed dozens of market malfunctions over the past decade.

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Related Tickers

10/26/2016 4:00 PM
AAPL $115.59 Down -2.66 -2.25%
Apple CAPS Rating: ****
KO $42.44 Down -0.10 -0.24%
Coca-Cola CAPS Rating: ****
VMW $73.31 Up +0.11 +0.15%
VMware CAPS Rating: ***
CBS $56.78 Up +0.79 +1.41%
CBS CAPS Rating: ***
MSFT $60.63 Down -0.36 -0.59%
Microsoft CAPS Rating: ****