GM Checks the Cushions for Spare Change

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A stopped clock is right twice a day. While that adage can be applied to analysts who surprise investors with actually making a correct call on a company, it could also apply to management at General Motors (NYSE: GM), who've decided it's better to let its wall clocks display the wrong time than replace the batteries in them.

The automaker has apparently taken to heart Congress' admonition to get its financial house in order before seeking money from taxpayers. Rather than go through the budget-draining expense of replacing clock batteries (not to mention the man-hours wasted having to reset them twice a year for Daylight Savings Time), General Motors will let workers glance at their wristwatches instead.

While it will sell off two of its corporate jets (Ford (NYSE: F) is going to sell all five), there's no reason to get rid of the entire fleet when it can save on the "cost per wipe" by switching the paper towels it uses, shutting the elevators off in corporate headquarters at 7 p.m., and switching from mechanical pencils from the good ol' No. 2's we used to fill out our SATs.

There's also not going to be any Tiger in the tank anymore over at GM's Buick line, either. The automaker is severing its nine-year relationship with golf phenom Tiger Woods, all in the name of saving money. While that image never made much sense to me anyway -- golf still carries a country-club aura about it that's not exactly in line with the family-friendly Buick image -- I guess when you're going to plead that you need tens of billions of dollars from the taxpayer, you better get rid of all the fluff in your budget.

Don't worry about Tiger, though. Between Nike (NYSE: NKE), Electronic Arts (Nasdaq: ERTS), and American Express (NYSE: AXP) (Uh-oh! Will it be next on the chopping block?), he still commands plenty of attention.

With GM, Ford, and Chrysler still smarting from the media shellacking they received for flying in to Washington on their corporate jets and appearing before Congress hat in hand, they're already putting their heads together for their next synchronized begging routine: They'll be carpooling to the nation's capital instead. Let's just hope they won't be driving a Hummer.

If the Chevy Volt is the car GM is going to be hanging its future on, perhaps it can hook up some jumper cables to the company's clocks.