We know what you're thinking: Do I get my mom Sriracha-flavored vodka, or just make her breakfast popovers for Mother's Day following all the stressful up-and-down action on Wall Street this week? The Dow (^DJI -1.81%) inched up 32 points Thursday after some mixed corporate earnings reports and big drama over at Barclays.

1. Tesla crashes despite big moves in China
Electric shock is the best way to describe the feelings of Tesla (TSLA 1.52%) shareholders Thursday. The stock dropped more than 11%, despite the cool electric car company's expectations-beating first-quarter earnings report. Tesla drove $713 million in revenues compared to the $699 million expected, and increased profit margins on the 7,535 Model S cars produced.

What does Tesla want? China ridin' shotgun. Tesla introduced its first cars to China in the past couple of months, and claims they were "greeted enthusiastically" in Beijing and Shanghai. Next up, it plans to build those cars in China within the next three years. (We assume without child labor or the absurd Apple-factory working conditions.)

The takeaway is that Wall Street thinks Tesla's like a teenager with a learner's permit going 110 mph on the Jersey Turnpike -- it's too fast too quickly. The stock is up 227% in the last year, making the 10-year old company already half as valuable as the 100-year old auto legend General Motors, as measured by market capitalization (the number of shares times the share price). That reality got investors thinking that maybe they've been buying up the stock a bit too much.

2. Barclays cutting 19k jobs and demoting its investment bank
It's time to get "sacked," as they say, in London-town. UK-based Barclays (BCS 8.18%) announced its gutting the high-flying investment bank, which means it's getting leaner, less risky, and will focus on the few areas that it's really good at. It also means 17,000 people will be fired by 2016, including 7,000 investment bankers in New York and London.

The investment bank is a "drag" on returns, according to the CEO -- (but the 120 million pound sponsorship of England's Premier Soccer League is OK, mate?). The investment bank is the riskiest business, so regulators require Barclays to keep tons of cash reserves for a possible downturn -- hence the "drag" remark.

The old CEO was a white-collar-wearing investment banker. Robert Diamond capped the growth of Barclay's i-bank with the big acquisition of Lehman Brothers in '08, or what remained of it after the infamous bankruptcy. But excessive pay and a LIBOR-rigging scandal while Britain's economy struggled, hurt Barclays' reputation. Diamond was forced by regulators to step down -- so Thursday's announcement is like an an official abandonment of his legacy.

Investors approve, but Donald Trump is probably trying to become the official "fire-er" for Barclays. During the past decade, banks have grown into gargantuan beasts with a part in so many different markets... so Wall Street actually approved of Barclays' plans to consolidate and refocus, giving it a 7.4% stock boost Thursday.

3. Wendy's pops after restaurant makeover
Attention redheads... you have a new hero. Freckle-faced fast-food chain Wendy's (WEN -0.51%) has continued its major turnaround from square-shaped burger failure to half-decent highway food option. The company has been remodeling stores nationwide, and investors chowed down on the results following its first quarter earnings report.
 
The numbers are interesting. Wendy's revenues were overall down 13% from last year, but that's because they sold off 418 of their 6,000+ restaurants as part of the turnaround scheme. What's impressive is that sales at Wendy's company-owned restaurants actually rose 1.3% at remodeled locations, resulting in quarterly earnings of $46.3 million.
Friday:
  • Will Apple buy Beats Electronics?
  • America's Wholesale Trade Report