Scranton Area Paper Company Dunder Mifflin Apologizes to Valued Client; Some Companies Still Know How Business Is Done

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Business management guru Michael Scott once noted: "There are four kinds of business: tourism, food service, railroads, and sales. And hospitals/manufacturing. And air travel." In hindsight, the brilliant strategist overlooked another up-and-coming category: companies that sell paper featuring obscene watermarks.

Indeed, Scranton-area parents and business owners are furious over an obscene watermark that has tainted paper products in their town, ranging from resumes to prom invitations. The watermark, which portrays an act of love between a beloved cartoon duck and a certain cartoon mouse, was printed on 500 boxes of 24-pound cream letter stock. Jaime Bernard, a Dumore student, part-time local frozen-yogurt chef, and bittersweet recipient of one of the invitations, said: "It was weird. And gross. I'm kind of freaked out by everything that has happened this week."

Though Dunder Mifflin CFO David Wallace was unavailable for comment, the Scranton Times reports that the company's local office hosted a contentious press conference on the matter, culminating in a spate of name-calling between that office's regional manager and local Scranton businesswoman Barbara Allen. According to those with knowledge of the situation, Dunder Mifflin is currently operating at Threat Level Midnight in response to the crisis.

The screw-up couldn't have come at a worse time for the regional paper distributor, which is facing intense competition from larger, fast-growing rivals Staples and Office Depot.

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Joe Magyer notes that this day is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S. The Fool has a disclosure policy.