Hey, Intel(Nasdaq: INTC), go shake your groove thing somewhere else! Here we were, partying like it was 1999, as Citigroup(NYSE: C) and General Motors(NYSE: GM) hit third-quarter profits out of Projection Park. Nice! Then you show up in this Grim Reaper get-up, talking all crazy about missing your bottom-line targets and waxing pessimistic on the holiday season that lies ahead.

You must've RSVP'd for the Party Pooper Ball on accident. Heck, no one even invited Motorola(NYSE: MOT) to this bash, but it still managed to shake six quarters of losses to show up and deliver the goods. Motorola, man! We were going over the party list the other day....

"Hey, do we want to invite Motorola?"

"No way, dude. You don't want that kind of gloom and doom infecting our rally fest."

But, sure enough, it shows up, carrying the bundt cake of profitability.

Now Intel says it's expecting no more than 6% in sequential revenue improvement from the third-quarter's $6.5 billion showing. In short, there's no way the fourth quarter will come close to the $6.98 billion posted in last year's final fiscal period. You've got more misses than a sorority house, Intel!

That just hurts, bud. Weren't we friends? And what's this about cutting your capital spending budget? Hungry industry mouths were banking on that trickle down. Does Applied Materials(Nasdaq: AMAT) know yet?

Let's just call this party off and send everybody home. We asked you to bring the chips, and instead you brought the dip.