The cat's out of the bag ! Happy April Fool's.

Today, we announced that The Motley Fool has accepted $25 million from the United States government for financial recovery funding. We have allocated and spent a majority of the funding on infrastructure, personnel, and personal obligations, which we believe will ultimately help our business thrive for the next several years -- or at least until the market recovers. Because we believe that our community is integral to our success as a company, we’ve also set aside $1 million for our Foolish community. Help us decide how to spend this $1 million by voting at our exclusive Fools-only site.  

In the spirit of transparency and honesty, we are fully disclosing the appropriations of this $25 million. The full list can be found below. To share any thoughts or comments, send The Motley Fool an email at Cash4Fools@fool.com. For more information about this funding and how this will affect The Motley Fool, view our FAQ.

Infrastructure: $40,000.00

Salary increases for executives based on performance: $1,500,000.00

Executive Strategic Planning retreat in Santorini, Greece: $100,000.00

Bonuses for executives and select employees: $9,941,095.30

Purchase Mangunca Island in Brazil for all our members to have exclusive access: $3,000,000.00

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Touchscreen laptops for each Fool employee: $1,600,000.00

3D computer monitors and glasses for each Fool employee: $143,944.00

A rug for Tom Gardner's cubicle: $87,000.00

4 privacy curtains for Tom Gardner's cubicle made from Emperor brand cloth: $28,000.00

Parchment for waste receptacle in Tom Gardner's cubicle: $1,400.00

A water cooler that dispenses Tasmanian Rain brand water: $4,000.00

Labor for installing water cooler: $300.00

Interior cubicle upgrades for company executives: $360,000.00

Lavatory upgrade for Tom Gardner: $20,000.00  


Lavatory upgrade for the rest of the Fool HQ bathrooms: $50,000.00 

Consulting fee for an interior decorator and contractor: $26,000.00

Motley Fool Fun Fest event to promote brand to the public, featuring Earth, Wind and Fire: $300,000.00

Foolapalooza event in Las Vegas to reward our top 200 best employees: $125,000.00

2 6-piece sectional lounge sofas with umbrellas and coffee tables for Fool offices: $10,398.65

A mint-condition corporate jet, purchased from a public company facing media scrutiny for its many corporate jets: $2,500,000.00

Fool Helicopter -- Foolopter -- to charge children for rides around Alexandria, Va.: $408,697.00

Special-edition Motley Fool embroidery for corporate jet: $560,000.00  

High Power QCW Laser and Intense Pulsed Light Hybrid Unit for deep tissue thermolysis, dermal resurfacing, tattoo removal and general dermatology: $6,999.95

Promote exercise and wellness by building a grass tennis court on the roof of the office building: $67,000.00

Stadium naming rights to Robert F. Kennedy Stadium in Washington, DC: $700,000.00

Disposable Swarovski crystal cups for the office: $90,000.00

The collected works of Steve Guttenberg on VHS from Craigslist: $0.00

A new Motley Fool building sign encrusted with diamonds: $45,900.00  

Our AAA Four Diamond award-winning free cafeteria run by Spike of Top Chef fame: $300,000.00

Buy the rights to obscure characters among Marvel Inc.'s 5,000 characters to launch movies or YouTube shorts: $10,000.00

A small petting zoo, featuring real, live Asian tigers and black swans: $600,000.00

Supplies to clean up after the animals in the small petting zoo: $12.35

2 Flowbees to help Fools with their hair care: $199.00

Fool employee “Noontime Appreciation” happy hour: $11,000.00  

Bottles of aspirin for all Fools after Noontime Appreciation happy hour: $598.00

1 Illinois Senate seat: $50,000.00

Racehorse named OnewaytickettotheFoolfactory: $20,000.00

Matching motorcycles for the Gardner brothers: $42,000.00

Hermetically sealed My Little Pony first editions for our conference rooms: $150.00

$240 worth of pudding: $240.00

A case of Gummy Bears: $49.50

Custom-made gold water fountain with likenesses of Tom and Dave that spew Chanel No. 5 from their mouths: $1,200,000.00

Naming rights to Chad Johnson of the Bengals. New name: Chad Ocho-Fool-o: $50,000.00

Mix some of the cash in health shakes until we realized that it clogged the blender: $16.25

Total: $24,000,000.00

We’re still open to your suggestions about how to spend our money should the opportunity arise. Send us your suggestions and any additional comments to Cash4Fools@Fool.com.

To learn more about The Motley Fool’s announcement, click on a link below:

The Motley Fool has a disclosure policy. Marvel is a Stock Advisor pick.