At a loss for Valentine's Day gift ideas for your broker, market maker, or Enron defense lawyer? How about a handful of quintessential Feb. 14 sweets -- candy hearts -- adorned with special finance-related sentiments?
Get out your pastry engraver and pick out a few heartfelt words for Wall Street.
1. I'm long you.
2. Let's do a reverse split.
3. Let me be your full-service broker.
4. I'm into after-hours trading.
5. I want to cover your shorts.
6. You're Microsoft.
7. Let's play FTSE (a.k.a. Footsie -- you know, the British index).
8. I'm into bond-age, and stocks.
9. Let's show each other our Intimate Brands.
10. Kiss Intel. (Get it? Kiss and tell, kiss Intel ... aw, forget it.)
11. High liquidity, high volume.
12. I crave active management.
13. Fannie Mae, but I'm shy (bat eyelashes).
14. Don't worry, I've fixed my income.
15. I've got a gross domestic product.
16. I've had problems with inflation.
17. Is this forever, or just a one-time charge?
18. I'm too tired for a secondary offering.
19. Warning: I have high turnover.
20. You speed up my ticker.
21. I like walks on the beach and ARM Holdings.
22. Sorry, I'm not into pork bellies.
23. I prefer to do it on the Pink Sheets.