On this first day of trading, I have a suggestion for the people who, for some reason, think that WebMD Health (NASDAQ:WBMD) is worth 50% more than the $17.50 IPO price.

Check the label. You may be taking the wrong pills.

As my colleague Rich Duprey pointed out earlier this week, this is a spinoff of the Web portion of the original WebMD (NASDAQ:HLTH), which now carries the horrible, Frankenstein's-Committee moniker Emdeon. (Get it? MD-on?) Of course, today's spinoff, the former online interbubble entity that started it all, is the kind of thing that doesn't make money. Heck, it's not sure when it might make money.

Neither am I. When's the last time you visited WebMD? How much money did you spend there? Yeah, I thought so.

So shares are up 50% anyway. Unless I mistake my math, that values the total class A common stock at a mere $1.37 billion. And the media circus ensues. Alas, this is Wall Street at its most Wise, which is to say that IPO action like this isn't designed to make money for investors. It's designed to maximize the payoff for the big fishies.

Any of you minnows watching this bubble may want to remember this picture. It shows what happens when the supply of hot air -- stock purchases by greater fools, with a small "f" -- runs out.

I'm already pretty sure I know how the story ends. The only mystery is this: How long before the analysts at IPO underwriters Morgan Stanley (NYSE:MWD), Citigroup (NYSE:C), and Goldman Sachs (NYSE:GS) begin coverage with the "strong buy" recommendations?

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Seth Jayson may need to visit WebMD today to see what he can find out about controlling excess bile. At the time of publication, he had positions in no company mentioned here. View his stock holdings and Fool profile here. Fool rules are here.