Buying a Home in My 20s Was a Huge Mistake. Here's Why Doing It Now Is Different

Owning a home is important to many people -- according to research from Statista, in 2023, 65.7% of households in this country were owner occupied. After many years of renting, I'm preparing to become a homeowner again myself. My last trip down this road was easily my biggest financial misstep, so doing this again feels particularly fraught. This time, I've got something to prove.

When I last bought a house (14 years ago), I was a lot younger and less experienced with money matters than I am now. I only bought because I was tired of apartment living and I had financial help with the purchase from well-meaning relatives who encouraged me to buy because they assumed it was the best move for me.

I should have just rented a house, because ultimately, I ended up unable to afford my mortgage payments. The whole debacle ended with a short sale -- and a big hit to my credit score. It's important to buy a house for the right reasons and in the right circumstances -- here's why.

My job and finances weren't suited to owning

The last time I bought a house, I was pretty new to my old career. Unfortunately, it wasn't a well-compensated one (despite requiring an advanced degree), and while I didn't know it at the time, I was then earning as much as I ever would until I changed careers in 2021. I lived paycheck to paycheck and had no savings, and while I could afford to make home loan payments while I was working, once I was laid off from my job, I was immediately in financial trouble.

Aside from the salary issues, my career wasn't one that allowed for remote work -- or the ability to easily find another job without relocating. When I got laid off, I found myself with a house I couldn't afford and no way to stay in the same city. Oh, and I was going through a divorce, to boot.

This time around, I'm a fully remote worker and a freelancer -- my job isn't at all tied to location, and I can and do work from anywhere. I also really love my current city and have already lived here for almost three years, so the prospect of staying longer is appealing to me. Plus, I've been able to grow my earnings, and I'm deliberately buying less house than I could technically afford. And I am making the purchase alone and not relying on financial help from anyone.

I never want to be in a position of being unable to afford my housing ever again, because it was easily one of the worst feelings in the world.

I wasn't ready to take on the responsibility

Aside from the money issues, I wasn't prepared for all that owning a home entails. At the time, I kind of thought that the only thing that made it different from renting was that I was paying a mortgage lender instead of a landlord, and I could paint or make other changes if I wanted to. Both of these are true -- but when you own a house, you're also responsible for anything and everything that could go wrong with it.

This is the thought that keeps me up at night now -- if my new home needs a new roof, a new water heater, or anything else, it'll be on me to coordinate it and pay for it. I'll have homeowners insurance in case of a covered peril, and I'm also getting a home warranty for the first year, but beyond that, it's my responsibility.

It's not all bad, though. The prospect of being able to paint and make other cosmetic changes to the house excites me -- and it didn't the last time I owned a home. I never felt the urge to paint a wall or change a cabinet in my last house. Definitely a red flag, in retrospect.

This time, I'm already dreaming of painting my half-bathroom a funky purple and trying to decide what shade of green my bedroom will be. Plus, now I have three cats, and I'm perhaps most looking forward to improving the house for them -- they're getting cat shelves, and I'm putting bird feeders in the back and front yards so they have on-demand "cat TV."

What if you're never ready?

If, like me, you were raised with the notion that renting is "throwing money away," while owning is "the key to wealth," you might be struggling to decide whether you actually want to buy a house or you're just conforming to what's expected of you. If you're perfectly happy renting and enjoy the benefits that come with it (such as not having to worry about and pay for home repairs and maintenance), no sweat.

There are other ways to increase your net worth. One good one is to live below your means (meaning, don't spend every dollar you earn if you're fortunate enough to have a solid income). Another is to invest the money you're saving by not having to pay for repairs, maintenance, property taxes, and all the other costs of owning a home. Over time, your invested dollars will grow -- and you won't have to sell a house to access those earnings.

As I write this, I'm waiting on my new mortgage to close. I'm nervous -- but I'm also excited at the prospect of turning a house into a real home for myself. I'm hoping that buying this time turns out to be a move I don't regret.