If you're feeling good about the market, you're not alone. Take my hand as we go over some of this week's more uplifting headlines.
1. Move along, couch potatoes
Comcast
Comcast knows firsthand that consumers are tiring of enjoying video programming exclusively through their televisions. It has seen its number of video subscribers shrink over the past year, with a loss of 656,000 net couch potatoes along the way.
Fancast Xfinity TV isn't magical elixir, but it is the bandage that will stop the bleeding. Account holders will think twice before cancelling their service, now that it's more valuable given its refreshing portability.
2. All's well that ends Wells
Like starlets adopting children from Third World countries, troubled banks are making the latest fashion statement among the "too big to fail" set by paying back their bailout proceeds. Wells Fargo
Yes, these deals have been highly dilutive to shareholders, but at least the financial-services heavyweights are doing this now that their stocks have bounced back sharply off their lows.
The banks have greedy intentions here, naturally. They want the government out of their hair, free to dictate pay practices and decide who gets the corporate jet over the holidays. At the end of the day, it's still a positive if it eliminates the risk exposure the taxpayers have taken on.
3. You're gold, man
I took Goldman Sachs
Well, I'm chowing down on some crow right now. Charles Schwab
Goldman Sachs was right after all -- this time.
4. Thinking inside the Redbox
I figured that Viacom
Obviously, Viacom sees something promising in its partnership with Coinstar's
It's refreshing to see a movie studio that isn't simply smoking out external scapegoats to blame for the past few years of declining DVD sales.
5. I'll have a six-piece order of Chicken McWi-Fi
McDonald's
I know what you're thinking: You've never seen anyone paying for connectivity at Mickey D's. You're probably right, and that's why McDonald's isn't really kissing a fat revenue stream goodbye.
It's hard to imagine folks lugging their laptops and netbooks over to McDonald's for free Wi-Fi and pecking at their keyboards with fry-greased fingers. However, McDonald's is in the process of upgrading its premium beverages. Fancy coffees are there now. Smoothies and other high-end treats will come later.
Besides, if you're trying to convey a buck-stretching message, you're going to fail by installing tollbooths on routers.