What's the dollar value of 60 months' worth of jokes about Ba Ba Booey's teeth? How about five years' lamentations about a DJ's private parts? Semi-naked strippers spanked on air? Angry, drunken midgets? Obscene phone calls?
To judge by pre-market trading, well more than $1 billion dollars. In the saner moments after the opening bell, only half a billion. What am I talking about? The market cap of Sirius Satellite Radio
Attempting to keep investor enthusiasm in check has never been one of Sirius management's strong suits, but calling this "the most important deal in the history of radio" is self-deluded BS of the first degree. C'mon, folks. When Stern calls himself "King of all Media," you know that he knows the hyperbole is funny. The key to humor is self-awareness -- unless you want people laughing at you.
Before we turn to planet Earth, let me applaud. Nice going, Sirius. Those who are familiar with my previous takes on Sirius and larger competitor XM Satellite Radio
But this is about the stock. There's no question about that situation: It's not worth it.
Anyone willing to pay up for this stock today is doing more hoping than thinking -- or maybe just swapping sardines. As we've pointed out in this space many times, despite deals with Ford
Those lucky enough to sell their Sirius to the overagitated suckers during the next few days may be sitting pretty. But anyone who holds this for the long term had better hope that future investors -- the ones who will be paying for their shares -- don't care about minor issues like earnings or return on investment.
For related Foolishness:
- Stock or sardine? Know which one you're buying.
- Be wary, but watch for models that explode.
- Fools duel over sat rad's future.