Fool Portfolio Report
Wednesday, August 14, 1996

(FOOL GLOBAL WIRE)
by Erik Rydholm

ALEXANDRIA, VA, August 14, 1996 -- Well, first off, my thanks must go out to Tom & David Gardner. After months of taking the heat for a wobbly market and a dwindling portfolio, they finally take a day off and the Fool Port hops right up 1.63%. I suppose that makes me a lucky charm. Why, do you realize that if Tom and David would stay away, and I could bring this simple little gain to the table every night, the Fool Portfolio would be worth around $1,000,000 by January? Wow. Think about that. They'd probably have to spin me off into my own forum -- like Frasier from Cheers.

Of course, Fish also had a spinoff, and so did Joanie and Chachi, Rhoda, Flo, and Cosby kid or two -- and where are they now? In order for the Fletch-folio to be a success, I'd need a coupla essentials: a thorough knowledge of investing and some ability to recognize potential investments. Sadly, I lack both. That's why they usually keep me offline, behind the scenes. A successful Fletch-folio would have to rely on luck, good fortune, low standards, high charm, and an "aggressive" accountant. Anyone out there got a few bucks to burn on that kind of business plan? Step right up!

Anyone?

Hello?

"WHERE THE HELL ARE DAVID & TOM?"

Umm, sir, I hardly think --

"C'MON, LET'S GET ON WITH IT, WE AIN'T GOT ALL NIGHT!"

Okay, okay, I get the message. Quit talking about yerself and get to the stocks. Right-o. Okay, then, like I said, I don't know a whole lot about the investment end of this thing, as I usually stick to new business, management, customer service, that sort of thing --

"LET'S GO!!"

Right, sorry. Here's all of the information I was able to dig up on Fool Port stocks. Lessee... nothing from Iomega. Nothing from America Online. KLA Instruments was quiet, as was 3M. 3Com didn't put its name on any more sporting arenas (though I could certainly see the "3Com Fletch-folio" working). ATT said it was laying some fiber lines outside of Chicago. General Motors announced the development of a new "catalytic hydrocarbon absorber" (been needing one of those). And our last large-cap, Chevron, was pretty quiet, except for an Associated Press report about a local Chevron station in Lake Oswego, Oregon offering free mammograms in a van in its parking lot. (Apparently, no mechanics will be involved, but that didn't stop the many women in Fool HQ from cringing at the thought.) Not surprisingly, Chevron was down a half a point.

And...that... brings... us... to... Medicis.

"'BOUT TIME."

Right. Okay. Well, see, yep, Medicis rose $2 1/2 today. That's it. It's been great. Thanks for your patience. Tom and David will be bac --

"YEAH, WE KNOW THAT ALREADY. BUT WHY?"

Well, um, see, that's a good question. Like I said, I don't do any of the investment stuff around here. I basically stick to the business --

"I PAY GOOD MONEY TO USE YOUR SERVICE, AND YOU SERVE ME THIS GARBAGE? WHERE ARE THE FOOLS?"

Well, Tom's in New York, and David is in San Francisco for tonight's event with Nasdaq President Al Berkeley, which, if you're not aware of it, is at 9pm on AOL--

"'NOT BE AWARE OF IT?' YOU'VE GOT THE THING PLASTERED ALL OVER THE PLACE FOR THE PAST TWO WEEKS."

Oh, good, okay, umm, you noticed it then. Well, that's good, because I worked hard on that. And that --

"YOU GOT ONE FINAL CHANCE HERE TO TELL US WHAT HAPPENED TO MEDICIS TODAY."

One ch--? Okay, then, right. Unh-huh. Well, lessee now, I did the news search and came up empty, and I checked the folder, and all I found was one guy who said he was selling, sooo, that's probably not it. And, uhhhh, I checked some of our recent reports, and couldn't really unders-- WAIT! I know! I know! Okay, so I don't know what really moved the stock to an all-time closing high today, but I do have some insight about Medicis for you.

"WELL... LET'S HEAR IT."

See, back in March, I was meeting with a prospective advertiser, because that's one of the things I do around here. He was this hard-bitten, cynical New Yorker who expressed grudging admiration for our enterprise, but thorough contempt at our recent selection of Medicis. "I play around in the market," he said. "You ain't made me any money yet. Whaddya gonna do when Iomega tumbles?" I told him we saw a bright future for Iomega, and that I personally didn't know a whole lot about Medicis, but that the real point of the Fool Portfolio was to show you how the Fool strategy works in practice -- not that you should blindly invest in every stock that David or Tom picks. He stared at me blankly. "If you're not going to make me money, then you're not going to be around very long, kid." I reminded him that there was value in education and humor, in the principles of patience and research. "Yeah, but there's money in money," he said. I left without a deal.

Today, I called him to see whether he was happy with his gains.

He told me he had sold it the afternoon I walked out the door.

Fools, there's money in patience, too. Tom and Dave will be back tomorrow. :)

--- Erik Rydholm, August 14, 1996

Today's Numbers


Day Month Year History FOOL +1.63% 5.54% 29.62% 142.03% S&P 500 +0.28% 3.45% 7.49% 44.43% NASDAQ +0.66% 4.91% 7.73% 57.39% Rec'd # Security In At Now Change 5/17/95 2010 Iomega Cor 2.52 16.88 569.92% 8/5/94 680 AmOnline 7.27 29.50 305.62% 1/29/96 375 Medicis Ph 18.57 41.75 124.78% 8/11/95 125 Chevron 50.28 57.75 14.85% 8/12/96 110 Minn M&M 65.68 66.38 1.06% 8/12/96 95 Gen'l Moto 51.97 51.88 -0.19% 8/12/96 130 AT&T 54.96 54.13 -1.52% 8/13/96 250 3Com Corp. 46.86 46.13 -1.57% 8/24/95 130 KLA Instrm 44.71 19.00 -57.51% Rec'd # Security Cost Value Change 5/17/95 2010 Iomega Cor 5063.13 33918.75 $28855.62 8/5/94 680 AmOnline 4945.56 20060.00 $15114.44 1/29/96 375 Medicis Ph 6964.99 15656.25 $8691.26 8/11/95 125 Chevron 6285.61 7218.75 $933.14 8/12/96 110 Minn M&M 7224.44 7301.25 $76.81 8/11/95 280 Gen'l Moto 14552.49 14525.00 -$27.49 8/12/96 130 AT&T 7144.99 7036.25 -$108.74 8/13/96 250 3Com Corp. 11714.99 11531.25 -$183.74 8/24/95 130 KLA Instrm 5812.49 2470.00 -$3342.49 CASH $1297.96 TOTAL $121015.46 Transmitted: 8/14/96 7:01 PM (foolnmbr)