This has been a crazy day for us here at Fool HQ. After several weeks of investigative journalism, staff writer Olla Posfir has come up with a sugary story that will shock the investing world.
Legendary investor Warren Buffett has certainly surprised Wall Street before, but this comes at a time when we yeast expect it: The Berkshire Hathaway chairman has purchased Krispy Kreme!
We know what you're saying: "Icing you are crazy." But donut think this is a misprint. There are no holes in this story. Read on for the details.
In today's Motley Fool Take:
- Buffett Buys Krispy Kreme
- Make Your Kid a Card Shark
- Discussion Board of the Day: B-Chip
- Fool.com Complies With FCC
- Quote of Note
Buffett Buys Krispy Kreme
By Olla Posfir
The legendary superinvestor, known for generating outstanding returns over the decades, was spotted last Friday in the Krispy Kreme store on 120th Street in his hometown of Omaha, Neb. According to a Motley Fool source, Buffett ordered one hot-glazed donut with rainbow sprinkles and a small coffee, then took a load off in one of the nearby booths.
The purchase comes as a surprise to many Buffett watchers, as the Oracle of Omaha has stated on many occasions that there are no compelling values in the marketplace today. And at $0.75 and 12 grams of fat per donut, Krispy Kremes are considered too rich by many experts.
However, assuming inflation continues at its current modest pace, Krispy Kremes are priced at only $0.47 per donut in 2021 dollars. Therefore, with a forward dollars-to-donuts multiple of 15.5, it appears that Buffett once again has his shareholders' eyes "glazing" over with another tasty buy.
Asked by a passerby what prompted him to make the purchase, Buffett winked and smiled wryly. "A man cannot live on DQ Blizzards alone."
Mr. Buffett is rumored to read the Fool from time to time, so let him know what you think of his purchase.
Make Your Kid a Card Shark
By Lora Flipos
"Got the urge to splurge? Quench your shopping cravings with the Fool X-Treme Visa."
With that slogan, The Motley Fool launched the Fool X-Treme Visa, the company's latest product geared toward the underserved teen market.
"After extensive focus group testing, we discovered that 9.47 out of 10 teens like to shop. That number goes up to 9.48 by the time teens reach the age of 18.2 and head to college," says James Greene, marketing manager for the company's new Fool Plastics division. "Despite this well-documented interest in shopping, the average high school teen spends just $66 each week. With all of their massive earnings potential, we don't think restricting teens to just $66 a week is very fair. We plan to change all that."
Youngsters face difficulties
Under current lending laws, if you're under the age of 18, you can't get a credit card without a co-signer. "We find it appalling that children can get a driver's license but can't pay their speeding tickets responsibly with a credit card. These poor kids are forced to rely on their parents for a loaner. That's ridiculous," Greene said.
Even worse, some kids land on their college campus not having access to the capital they clearly need. Mused Greene, "Can you believe that only 80% of college students carry a credit card? And the average credit limit is just $500! Does that seem reasonable to you? We didn't think so."
Other hardships faced by young adult shoppers include:
Inability to qualify for precious metal status: Those who earn less than $25,000 annually cannot qualify for "platinum" credit cards. Fool research participants said that "bling bling" was the third most important card feature.
- Restricted spending limits: Because most lenders offer young borrowers narrow credit limits, teens are forced to apply for multiple cards to cover expenses like textbooks, computers, iPods, and Uggs. Graduating seniors owe an average of $3,000 -- just one-third the amount of debt owed by the average American household that has at least one credit card.
The Fool X-Treme Visa addresses these issues with card features based on the acronym R.A.P.P.:
Rewards: If you're going to carry debt, Fools believe you should have something to show for it. The Fool X-Treme Visa's innovative rewards system lets X-Treme shoppers earn X Points for cool gear like free facial piercings and discounts at nationwide body-art chain Rat-A-Tat-Tattoos.
Access: The Fool X-Treme Visa will be marketed in high school cafeterias, movie theater parking lots, fraternity house keg parties, and at special kiosks in Forever 21 dressing rooms (with free lip gloss to the first 50 applicants!). Card applicants under age 18 can obtain a card without a co-signer if they promise, promise, promise that they can handle it.
Power: Cardholders start with an X-Treme credit limit of $5,555. Credit line increases of $2,000 take place each year on the customer's birthday.
Panache: One word: sparkles. Using a patented process, each Fool X-Treme Visa is infused with sparkles.
It's not just the look, feel, and spending limit that set the Fool X-Treme Visa apart. "By misspelling the word 'extreme,' America's youth will see that we Fools have got it going on," Greene said, adding, "A'ight, Dawg."
As always, we in the Fool marketing department value what you have to say, so please give your feedback on the new X-Treme Visa for Teens!
If the B-Chip becomes a commercial success, Apices plans to develop the A-Chip, the Speedo-Chip, and the Ick-Chip, which will block commercials for erectile dysfunction, bladder control, feminine hygiene, flatulent horses, or Ditech Lending.
Fo ol.com Complies With FCC
By Paolo Flirs
Effective April 5, readers will notice some broad changes at The Motley Fool. While we will continue to offer the best financial writing and analysis online, we will have to do so under some severe limitations and restrictions.
After Janet Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction" at the Super Bowl halftime show and the ensuing scandal, the FCC has made it clear that offensive content, smut, or any other lewd or inappropriate material will not be tolerated in any public medium.
While we certainly believe there are worse offenders on the Internet, we also don't want to get shut down. So, as of next Monday, the following changes will appear on our website:
1. Since some readers found the bells on the Fool jester cap offensive, we've removed them.
2. We will no longer use the following terms. Instead, we will replace them with a cleaner version:
|Old Term||New Term|
|Fannie Mae||Federal National Mortgage Association|
|Bottom Line||Actual Profits|
|Bull Market||Male Cow Market|
|Your Analysis||Your Breakdown|
|Naked Options||Uncovered Options|
|Round Lot||Group of Shares Traded in Multiples of 100|
|Short Squeeze||Pressured Share Buyback|
|Turnover Rate||Trading Activity Factor|
|Early Withdrawal Penalty||Fee|
|Back-end Load||Another Fee|
|Front-end Load||Opposite of Another Fee|
|Janus Mutual Funds||Roman God of Gates and Doorways Mutual Funds|
|Dick Grasso||Richard G.|
3. The TMF acronym is no more, for obvious reasons. TMF Money Advisor will be renamed The Happy Chipmunk Money Advisor. Also, Motley Fool staff will no longer use their TMF names on the discussion boards. From that day on, TMFDavidG will be known as TheMotleyFoolDavidGFormerlyTMFDavidG and TMFSelena is TheMotleyFoolSelenaFormerlyTMFSelena.
4. The Motley Fool's Guide to Couples & Cash will now be called The Motley Fool's Guide to Couples & Cash Only in Reference to Investing as a Couple and Not Having Anything to Do With Rolling Around Naked on a Bed of Money or Soliciting a Prostitute.
5. The Fool's Quotes and Data area will no longer search for a stock whose ticker symbol looks like a dirty word, rhymes with a dirty word, or can form a dirty word by rearranging its letters. The following stocks will not be affected:
6. Photos of Fool co-founder Tom Gardner will no longer be used for publicity purposes.
7. The Motley Fool discussion boards will be on a five-second delay. When you submit a message to our boards, you won't see it until after five seconds have transpired.
8. FoolMart has occasionally been tongue-tied into MoolFart, so our online store will be shut down on Monday.
We hope you'll find the new Motley Fool to be a website you'd be happy to share with your children, church group, or any other individuals who might previously have turned away in disgust. This is an ongoing process, so we invite you to contact us immediately on our FCC Compliance discussion board if there is anything else on our website that you deem offensive or inappropriate.Qu
ote of Note
"Foolery, sir, does walk about the orb like the sun; it shines everywhere." -- William Shakespeare
In other news:
- Reality TV for Traders
- Gardner Admits: "Money Not Funny"
- Hormel to Sue Feds
- Mutual Funds, Fool Style
For a list of all our stories from today, see our Today's Headlines page.