I had to double-check my calendar and make sure I wasn't being April-Fooled by the blogosphere when I read that Google
As it turns out, Yahoo!
-
Wal-Mart
(NYSE:WMT) employs fireflies to light stores. Handily trumping rival Kmart's "blue light special," the retailing giant continues to prove its commitment to slashing costs. This time, it really catches lighting in a bottle! Sam Walton would be so proud. -
AT&T
(NYSE:T) partners with Campbell Soup to launch the first global "Tin Cans and String" communications network. The move shows both companies' sensitivity to the ailing economy and their dedication to a truly "wired" world. Additionally, a whole new secondary market emerges for used chicken-soup cans. -
General Electric's
(NYSE:GE) CNBC abandons the use of guest analysts in favor of blindfolded chimps and dartboards. Amazingly, viewers report an immediate increase in their investment returns. -
General Motors
(NYSE:GM) patents the hamster-cage induction motor. In a last-ditch effort to stave off bankruptcy, GM enrolls an army of furry friends to power the engines of tomorrow. GM further announces plans for a V8 squirrel edition by 2011. -
Netflix enlists carrier pigeons to speed home deliveries and offset future postal rate increases. Inspired by FedEx's Super Bowl ads, Netflix secures a flock of messenger birds to wing the newest DVD releases into viewers' mailboxes. Amazon.com
(NASDAQ:AMZN) quickly counters with free eagle shipping.
Do you have any eco-friendly, naturalistic suggestions? Potential headlines? Share them in the comments section.