Netflix (Nasdaq: NFLX) isn't interested in buying oblique competitor Hulu, says The Wall Street Journal. Excuse me for a second while I sit down to defibrillate myself.

OK, I really took that brief pause to surgically remove my tongue from my cheek. As shocks and surprises go, this one rates about a 1 on the Richter scale.

Walt Disney (NYSE: DIS) CEO Bob Iger is "committed to selling" Hulu, according to comments made at a media conference last week.

The WSJ reports that a murderer's row of media and Internet businesses have shown interest, starting with an unsolicited bid by Yahoo! (Nasdaq: YHOO). Google (Nasdaq: GOOG) and Microsoft (Nasdaq: MSFT) are painted as potential frontrunners, but the Journal makes a point out of Netflix's absence from early talks.

And that's because the only reason Netflix would be interested in this auction would be to conduct some industrial espionage. The cabal of current owners would hate to consolidate their market for digital TV distribution by handing Hulu to Netflix, for starters.

Moreover, Netflix is far too busy building its own library of media licenses to spend several billion on a frivolous Hulu purchase.

Finally, Hulu's mostly ad-supported business model is a far cry from the ad-free subscriptions service that Netflix runs. Hulu serves a very specific demographic; Netflix serves a different specific market.

I'm more surprised that Apple (Nasdaq: AAPL) wasn't mentioned as a potential bidder, nor serial acquirer DISH Network (Nasdaq: DISH). To my mind, they stand to gain plenty from a Hulu purchase as Apple's piecemeal media sales would dovetail nicely with an ad-driven TV supplement and DISH appears ready to grab any media property with a pulse these days.