Unless your company just got acquired for nearly $20 billion, and you're popping cases of $200 bottle Cristal by your office water cooler, Thursday was pretty busy on Wall Street. The Dow (DJINDICES: ^DJI) rose 93 points on some headline earnings reports.
1. Tesla Motors earnings accelerate
Shwwww. That's not vroom of a fuel-injection engine, but the battery-powered sound of electric car phenom Tesla (TSLA 0.38%) beating analysts' earnings expectations. Shares of Tesla popped 8.4% Thursday after the company delivered a record 6,892 of its Model S sedans, driving $761 million in revenues.
It's made in the U.S., but Tesla's getting some love from the Far East. China recently announced it will offer greater financial incentives than expected for consumers to buy the environmentally efficient car. Plus, Tesla's Beijing store is already its most active location globally for sales.
The takeaway is that Wall Street is amped up on Tesla's forecasts for this year. Tesla is dramatically increasing production of its Model S from 600 to 1,000 per week, plans to sell 55% more of the Model S in 2014 (35,000 cars), and is introducing its Model X crossover vehicle early next year. We'll take two.

2. Wal-Mart earnings suffer on weather, food stamp cuts
The price is wrong for the biggest retailer in the world. Wal-Mart (WMT 0.26%) announced earnings for the period that ended Jan. 31st on Thursday that were right on the mark of analyst expectations. But the CEO's warnings about weak expected growth in 2014 (approximately 3% net sales growth), was hated by investors. Fourth-quarter profit fell 21%, and the culprit of Wal-Mart's tough year was food stamps.  

Blame Congress. Grocery sales were down in 2013, which could be driven by Congress' decision to cut food stamps, increase payroll taxes, and other painful policies from earlier in the year that hit low-income Americans especially hard. For four straight quarters in 2013, sales fell in Wal-Mart stores open at least one year. 

CEOs love blaming the weather, and Wal-Mart's Doug McMillon was no exception. It's been the most freezing and snowy three months that MarketSancks can remember, and it kept shoppers at home. But Wal-Mart is losing market share to Kroger and Safeway, so the stock fell 1.8% Thursday.

3. Groupon stock volatile after mixed earnings
The deal of the day comes courtesy of flash-sale site Groupon (GRPN 2.21%), whose 4th quarter revenues of $768 million crushed analysts' expectations. The record performance was the result of (cheap) American shoppers using Groupon for discounted holiday gifts (how sweet).
So why'd the stock fall 10% at first? Shares of Groupon plummeted before recovering Thursday. Despite those impressive revenues, Groupon finished the quarter in the red as a result of an $85 million loss from a bad investment over in China. It's like one greasy piece of stomach-upsetting General Tso's chicken ruining your take-out meal.

4. Grubhub files IPO papers
You hungry for an IPO, but too lazy to get off your couch? Then order food on Grubhub Seamless and let MarketSnacks tell you about it first. The online food-delivery website is filing for an IPO. 

The papers are in, and online delivery is going public. Later this year, investors will have the chance to own shares of Grubhub Seamless (which merged in 2013 into one, salty, saucy website). 

The Initial Public Offerring (IPO) will also allow the current shareholders of the private company to sell and cash in on their awesome investment. After Whatsapp's $19 billion price tag Wednesday, the only question is how many billion will this tech company be worth?

  • Existing Home Sales
  • Fourth-Quarter Earnings: Dish Newtork, Billabong
As originally published on MarketSnacks.com