You can't miss the place. Just off Broadway, down 42nd Street, the country's largest McDonald's(NYSE: MCD) opened yesterday. But it's not your typical Mickey D's.

From the Belshaw mini-donut machine churning out bite-sized snacks to the sea of plasma screens airing nostalgic Coke(NYSE: KO), McDonald's, and Disney(NYSE: DIS) drivel, it's a theatrical tribute themed to its location.

Animal activists will be glad to know Cats aren't on the menu, while shareholders are waiting for The Producers. With its stock at a seven-year low and the company in corporate disarray, watching a bold franchisee go big, with the theater marquee aglow to show for it, might not be in McDonald's best interest.

And can you blame the skeptics? Investors have been calling for the company to lay low on its expansion strategy until it gets its existing collection of more than 30,000 restaurants in order.

Last week, we proposed 10 ways to save the world's largest retail food chain. With tongue planted firmly in burger-smeared cheek, here are five new menu suggestions for the struggling concept.

1. Not-So-Happy-Meal -- Complete with a McDonald's stock certificate as a toy premium.

2. McFat Fries -- Forget those reduced-fat fries. Serve with new, tangy lard dipping sauce.

3. The Macbeth Burger -- Bloodied so rare it just won't wash off.

4. Whopper -- Hey, maybe Burger King just won't notice, with its ownership change and all.

5. Grimace Mystery Meat -- Dye it purple. Nobody knows what a Grimace is, anyway.

Actually, McDonald's will eventually get it right. The obvious joke to be made -- after spending years cleaning up 42nd Street, New York City lets this happen -- isn't fair to McDonald's. Years ago, the company was the toast of the town. The globetrotter with fat margins and long drive-through lines. Success is not entirely out of reach. But until then, it will have to admit it has come to "Miss" a lot of things, Saigon included.