The cat's out of the bag ! Happy April Fool's.

Today, we announced that The Motley Fool has accepted $25 million from the United States government for financial recovery funding. We have allocated and spent a majority of the funding on infrastructure, personnel, and personal obligations, which we believe will ultimately help our business thrive for the next several years -- or at least until the market recovers. Because we believe that our community is integral to our success as a company, we’ve also set aside $1 million for our Foolish community. Help us decide how to spend this $1 million by voting at our exclusive Fools-only site.  

In the spirit of transparency and honesty, we are fully disclosing the appropriations of this $25 million. The full list can be found below. To share any thoughts or comments, send The Motley Fool an email at For more information about this funding and how this will affect The Motley Fool, view our FAQ.

Infrastructure: $40,000.00

Salary increases for executives based on performance: $1,500,000.00

Executive Strategic Planning retreat in Santorini, Greece: $100,000.00

Bonuses for executives and select employees: $9,941,095.30

Purchase Mangunca Island in Brazil for all our members to have exclusive access: $3,000,000.00

Touchscreen laptops for each Fool employee: $1,600,000.00

3D computer monitors and glasses for each Fool employee: $143,944.00

A rug for Tom Gardner's cubicle: $87,000.00

4 privacy curtains for Tom Gardner's cubicle made from Emperor brand cloth: $28,000.00

Parchment for waste receptacle in Tom Gardner's cubicle: $1,400.00

A water cooler that dispenses Tasmanian Rain brand water: $4,000.00

Labor for installing water cooler: $300.00

Interior cubicle upgrades for company executives: $360,000.00

Lavatory upgrade for Tom Gardner: $20,000.00  

Lavatory upgrade for the rest of the Fool HQ bathrooms: $50,000.00 

Consulting fee for an interior decorator and contractor: $26,000.00

Motley Fool Fun Fest event to promote brand to the public, featuring Earth, Wind and Fire: $300,000.00

Foolapalooza event in Las Vegas to reward our top 200 best employees: $125,000.00

2 6-piece sectional lounge sofas with umbrellas and coffee tables for Fool offices: $10,398.65

A mint-condition corporate jet, purchased from a public company facing media scrutiny for its many corporate jets: $2,500,000.00

Fool Helicopter -- Foolopter -- to charge children for rides around Alexandria, Va.: $408,697.00

Special-edition Motley Fool embroidery for corporate jet: $560,000.00  

High Power QCW Laser and Intense Pulsed Light Hybrid Unit for deep tissue thermolysis, dermal resurfacing, tattoo removal and general dermatology: $6,999.95

Promote exercise and wellness by building a grass tennis court on the roof of the office building: $67,000.00

Stadium naming rights to Robert F. Kennedy Stadium in Washington, DC: $700,000.00

Disposable Swarovski crystal cups for the office: $90,000.00

The collected works of Steve Guttenberg on VHS from Craigslist: $0.00

A new Motley Fool building sign encrusted with diamonds: $45,900.00  

Our AAA Four Diamond award-winning free cafeteria run by Spike of Top Chef fame: $300,000.00

Buy the rights to obscure characters among Marvel Inc.'s 5,000 characters to launch movies or YouTube shorts: $10,000.00

A small petting zoo, featuring real, live Asian tigers and black swans: $600,000.00

Supplies to clean up after the animals in the small petting zoo: $12.35

2 Flowbees to help Fools with their hair care: $199.00

Fool employee “Noontime Appreciation” happy hour: $11,000.00  

Bottles of aspirin for all Fools after Noontime Appreciation happy hour: $598.00

1 Illinois Senate seat: $50,000.00

Racehorse named OnewaytickettotheFoolfactory: $20,000.00

Matching motorcycles for the Gardner brothers: $42,000.00

Hermetically sealed My Little Pony first editions for our conference rooms: $150.00

$240 worth of pudding: $240.00

A case of Gummy Bears: $49.50

Custom-made gold water fountain with likenesses of Tom and Dave that spew Chanel No. 5 from their mouths: $1,200,000.00

Naming rights to Chad Johnson of the Bengals. New name: Chad Ocho-Fool-o: $50,000.00

Mix some of the cash in health shakes until we realized that it clogged the blender: $16.25

Total: $24,000,000.00

We’re still open to your suggestions about how to spend our money should the opportunity arise. Send us your suggestions and any additional comments to

To learn more about The Motley Fool’s announcement, click on a link below:

The Motley Fool has a disclosure policy. Marvel is a Stock Advisor pick.