The Boring Portfolio

Boring Portfolio Report
Tuesday, May 28, 1996

(FOOL GLOBAL WIRE)
by by Larry Neumann (MF Yakko)

RALEIGH, NC, May 28, 1996 -- I consider it a high honor that my friend MF Boring invited me to write up today's activity in the Boring Portfolio. Greg is on vacation this week in ... in ... hmmm ... I don't know. I suppose MF Boring would probably vacation in a place like Buffalo, or maybe Cleveland.

It's crazy times around Fooldom and the market in general. The chat rooms and the folders are abuzz with talk of no-earnings wonder-stocks on their way from price "x" to three or four times "x" in just a few days. Well today was gut check time for many such "investors", as most of last weeks momentum stocks were off sharply Friday and today. The amazing thing to me is how convinced the traders and "me too" investors can be that a stock at 15 just a few days ago will find a "base" at 27 today (on it's way down from the high 30s).

If there's a better commercial for the Boring Portfolio, I can't imagine what it would be. The Borefolio is a great alternative to the run and gun approach favored by traders and momentum investors. It doesn't have a lot of 5% or greater up days, but then, it isn't likely to have the 5% down days either. The Borefolio is built on the premise that buying undervalued stocks in solid, but not very flashy industries will consistently beat the market over time and will keep those pesky ulcers in check. This is high-principled and disciplined investing and it's *exactly* for the weak of stomach, or for those that just can't seem to time the tops and bottoms like everyone else claims to.

Boring investors may seem like they are in the vast minority in the middle of a tech frenzy, but when the bull hangover sets in, you will start to see the "I (heart) MF Boring" t-shirts, bumper stickers, and screen savers moving from inventory.

What do these Boring investors look like? How will you know if you bump into one? It's easy if you know the telltale signs:

Top Five ways to spot a Boring Investor

5. They read a book this weekend instead of the IOMG #80 folder.

4. When folks chat about volatility, they chime in with, "Yea, this east coast weather has been nuts."

3. Business week writes them up as penny stock hypesters. (A high compliment when you consider the press gets everything backwards).

2. They get all their real-time quotes from poetry readings at Borders Books.

1. Three words: Vacation in Cleveland.

Parity was the name of the game on the markets today, as the NASDAQ, DJ 30 Industrials, and S&P 500 required a photo finish, each between 0.92% and 0.93% down on the day. Meanwhile, the Boring horse was already in the clubhouse mixing metaphors with MF Yakko after posting a market beating 0.77% decline.

The only news amongst the Boring stocks today came from The Borders Group, which announced the lease signing of two more best of breed book, music, and coffee superstores in Houston, TX and Glendale, AZ. The stock was down 1 3/8 on the news as the market pondered whether or not Texans can actually read (just kidding).

All other Boring stocks were, well, boring. The Borefolio is nothing else if not un-noteworthy on most days. Texas Industries was down $2 1/8 on general market weakness. All others were flat to mildly down with the exception of Prime Medical Services, which managed a gain of $1/2.

Makes it a whole lot easier to enjoy Cleveland knowing ones investments are *this* Boring.

Transmitted: 5/28/96