Sometimes, when things aren't going your way, you need to celebrate the little things. You know what I mean -- when you were little and having a bad week and your mom would put one of your pictures on the refrigerator. You knew the picture was lousy, but the gesture made you feel better anyway.

It looks like Bear Stearns (NYSE:BSC) needed a little of the same. The firm recently proclaimed that it was "[ranked] in Alpha's inaugural top equity trading firms survey." Now doesn't that sound nice?

Well, it does, until you actually look at the survey. Alpha talked to 300 hedge funds about the firms they work with for equity trading. True to their word, Bear Stearns did, in fact, make the list. In the overall rankings, though, the firm managed a pretty mediocre number five placing out of 10 firms included.

And what of Goldman Sachs (NYSE:GS), Credit Suisse (NYSE:CS), Bank of America (NYSE:BAC), and Morgan Stanley (NYSE:MS), all of whom were ranked above Bear? For some crazy reason, they didn't seem to think it was quite as big of a deal.

But don't worry, Bear. We love your drawing -- seriously.

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