The earnings from homebuilders Lennar (NYSE:LEN) and KB Home (NYSE:KBH) suggest that the housing market isn't getting any better. The earnings from investment banks like Morgan Stanley (NYSE:MS) and Bear Stearns (NYSE:BSC) gave us an idea of just how nasty the credit crunch has been. And now the big private equity guys are getting cold feet, pulling out of deals involving firms like Harman (NYSE:HAR) and SLM (NYSE:SLM).

Ben Bernanke gave it his best shot by cutting the Federal Funds Rate 0.5%, going above and beyond the 0.25% that most were expecting. But now it's time to get serious.

Famous "facts" about martial artist Chuck Norris trumpet his amazing strength and tenacity. For example: "Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people." Now, thanks to Bloomberg writer Mark Gilbert, Chuck is going after the credit crisis. Below are a few of my favorites from Mark:

  • Chuck Norris doesn't target inflation. He roundhouse-kicks it until it begs for mercy.
  • The tears of Chuck Norris would supply enough liquidity to solve the credit crisis. Too bad he never cries.
  • Chuck Norris doesn't mark-to-market. The market marks to Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris doesn't buy gold to hedge against inflation. Gold buys Chuck Norris to hedge against inflation.

Good luck, Mr. Norris. America's credit is counting on you.

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Fool contributor Matt Koppenheffer does not own shares of any of the companies mentioned. You can visit Matt on The Fool's CAPS service here, or check out his blog here. Even Chuck Norris wouldn't mess with the Fool's disclosure policy.