Money is no joking matter, but that doesn't mean that investors can't have a sense of humor. Here are six jokes covering financial news that has broken over the past week. Apologies in advance if they fail to educate, amuse, or enrich.
1. Why did Ford (NYSE:F) delay the introduction of its F-150 pickup truck, in these gas-guzzler-weary times?
It's a ticker symbol. It's a school grade. It's a ticker symbol. It's a school grade.
2. Microsoft (NASDAQ:MSFT) CEO Steve Ballmer doesn't believe that his company needs to go on a buying spree after its Microhoo dreams faded away. Organic growth? Really? I don't buy it, but which of the following might Microsoft be planning to grow its reach, sans buyouts?
- Bowling for Ballmer, a game show where sweaty guys with receding hairlines deal with ridiculous splits.
- V for Vista, a rebel flick in which an unwanted operating system exacts revenge against those who denied it a shot at glory. XP marks the spot.
- Microsoftlandia, an amusement park where ride openings are delayed and the fruit carts never stock apples.
3. Apple (NASDAQ:AAPL) announced that it has sold 5 billion songs through its digital iTunes Music Store since the launch of the popular service. How many of those tracks are from Milli Vanilli?
I have no idea, but I like the way you think.
4. Executive defections continue at Yahoo! (NASDAQ:YHOO). Which of the following bumper stickers was found on a car in the company's parking lot?
- Will the last person to leave Yahoo! please shut off the plight?
- It's Peanut Butter Smelly Time! Peanut Butter Smelly Time!
- I never thought I'd miss Terry Semel.
- Car? What car?
5. Netflix (NASDAQ:NFLX) ruffled some members' feathers when it announced that it was discontinuing its split-queue feature for families on a shared account. It's unlikely to inspire households to sign up for additional accounts. Putting an entire family's picks into the same queue will make the Netflix recommendations engine less effective. What is the DVD rental specialist's new name?
Nutflix.
6. China announced a 17% increase in gas prices on Thursday. What was the immediate reaction?
Well, 1.3 billion bicycles were dusted off.
Here are a few earlier Wall Street riddles:
- Last week's jokes.
- The chuckles from the week before that.
