It seems as if soap opera writers are penning the financial news these days. Each day's events are more outlandish than the next. So here are some headlines that aren't true but should be. (Translation for the humorless: This is a parody.)
Goldman goes bankrupt ... comes out ahead
Foolish colleague Morgan Housel and I were speculating that Goldman Sachs
Bank of America goes literal
Bank of America
U.S. government taking over Man U sponsorship
The federal government notified Manchester United that, effective with next week’s game, the AIG
Do you want fries with that?
Taking its cue from the airline industry, McDonald's
Because of fears of default, everyone stops buying U.S. Treasuries, and a U.S. funding crisis ensues. Canada, tired of all of the jokes at its expense, offers to lend the U.S. enough money to stay solvent on one condition. The condition? Canada receives warrants that let it purchase 79.9% of the U.S. government. Who's laughing now, eh?