Maybe you're like me. You always wanted a piece of eBay (NASDAQ:EBAY) but felt it was too richly priced. So you waited for the dip only to find eBay inching upward as it would smoke past analyst targets, only to set its sights even higher. Surprised at your own dexterity, you wound up kicking yourself. Hard.

Yet here you are with the chance that you've always wanted -- eBay stock is trading nearly 30% off its all-time December highs -- but pulling the "buy" trigger just doesn't feel right. If that's you, you're not alone. The four colorful letters are still in place, but it's hard to make out the face of the company that you once admired.

Too many novelty auctions. Too many gimmicky promotional efforts. We all know the company had a rough fourth quarter. With domestic growth slowing, it even had to scale back an intended fee hike.

It's almost embarrassing. A year ago, I was professing my unrequited love for eBay. Now I'm eyeing the door. I'm sorry, eBay. This isn't going to work. Can't we just go back to the days when you played hard-to-get?

The latest scary trend in the company's desperate cries for attention is its influx of seller promotions. Yesterday, it was half-priced listings on fixed-price auctions. On Valentine's Day, it was listings for a nickel. Why? All this does is load the site up with more noise. If I wanted to list in a sea of bidlessness, I would go to Amazon (NASDAQ:AMZN) or Yahoo! (NASDAQ:YHOO).

Yes, Rule Breakers newsletter recommendation (NASDAQ:OSTK) is trying hard to matter in the lucrative auction space, and, at least for the next two weeks, it's luring sellers with some ridiculously cheap listing fees. But why should you care? What happened to the eBay that would thumb its nose at the cost-cutting competition while holding its head -- and fees -- high?

I'm sorry, eBay, but I think we should start seeing other people. It's not you, it's me. Wait a minute. I take that back. It is you.

It's over.

There must be 50 ways to leave your auctioneer:

Longtime Fool contributor Rick Munarriz is a satisfied eBay user and Overstock customer. He's also happily married, so eBay is best served to stop stalking him. He does not own shares in any of the companies mentioned in this story. The Fool has a disclosure policy. He is also part of the Rule Breakers newsletter research team, seeking out tomorrow's ultimate growth stocks a day early.